I have been feeling pretty good lately about getting back to my BBW (before baby weight).  With Ryan, I lost all my baby weight within 6 months.  I didn’t exercise or try- it just came off, by itself (lucky me!)

Cole just turned 14 months, and I *still* haven’t quite lost all the baby weight.  I seem to be stuck at those last five pounds.  However, I have heard that when you nurse, your body will usually hold on to ten extra pounds so your body will have something to make milk from if you don’t get enough food.  (I suppose this is back from cave-man days).  I am still nursing Cole, so perhaps this is another reason I can’t lose the rest of the weight.

I also notice on days that he wants to nurse more, like when he is teething, sick, or tired, the next day I am very hungry.  On days when he doesn’t want to nurse much, I am not as hungry.

I am guessing since I am older the second time around my metabolism slowed down a bit, and I also had a very stressful year with Cole, and I know I ate more during the past year.

I am happy though, that my weight is where it is, considering I gained 50 pounds with Ryan, and a whopping 60 pounds with Cole!  (I get so hungry when I am pregnant- what can I say?!)  I have been able to get into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes again, but not my shorts!

I have been reduced to wearing two pairs of shorts when I go out in public that don’t fit- they are too big, and I have to constantly be pulling them up, but then next size down, is too small. Of course I have about 20 pairs of pre-pregnancy shorts, that I spent a small fortune on, that as my sister says, “taunt me from the closet.”  Amen.   Oh yes, I could squeeze my mama hips into them, but can’t button them over my new friend- ”mama pooch” on my stomach.

I always had a flat stomach before having babies.  I think those days are gone.  My pooch doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, anytime soon.  I have one pair of pre-pregnancy shorts that I can actually fit into, but they button higher on the waist, and let me tell you- it is a struggle to get them buttoned.  I never liked the below waist, shorts or pants, but now they are my best friend, because the button below “mama pooch.”

I look at all my shorts folded in the closet that I can’t wear.  I don’t want to get rid of them because I just know one day I’ll be able to wear them again (yeah, right) but I don’t want to buy a lot of new ones because 1- summer is almost over, and 2- I am hoping that when I do lose the last five pounds, maybe a few inches from “mama pooch” will disappear too, and I will be able to wear *some* of them again.

That brings me to my next point- I am going to have to get rid of the shorter shorts- because let’s face it- NO ONE, me included- wants to see this much of my lower thighs.  Before babies- I liked shorter shorts, and wore them all the time.  After babies- no way- there is enough suffering in the world without me subjecting people to that view. 

However, we are going on a beach vacation next week, and I have had it!  I want some shorts that fit me as I am now.  No more “baggy butt” shorts.  I don’t want to spend another small fortune on shorts that I hopefully will never wear again, so a few days ago; I went to a nice consignment shop in town with Ryan, after his swim lessons.

I grabbed all the pairs of shorts I could find in one size up from the stash I have at home, and was confident out of the 50 pairs I had- a few would fit.  After trying them ALL on, NONE fit! What was worse was I would sit down in them, and my friend “mama pooch,” would show up, outlining herself from within.  Even Ryan noticed- he poked her, and said, “You got chubbies there.”  Uh, thanks son.  But he was telling the truth- I looked like I was 3 or 4 months pregnant in these shorts.

We left soon after, and I wondered if I was doomed to a life of “baggy butt” shorts, or looking like I was pregnant.  I marveled at the time I could walk into an Old Navy store, walk right up to the shorts, know exactly what size I wore, know they would fit, and would buy them without trying them on.  I knew those days were over- when you allow babies to live rent free in your body for nine months, your body will never be the same. 

I tried a few more stores today, and nothing-nada-ziltch.  Same problem.  Shorts one size smaller were too small, and the size I have now are too big.  I was feeling really depressed, as I went into the last store in my town that sells shorts.  Cole was with me, and he was in a really good mood and happy.  I found a few pairs to try on, but in all honesty they looked like mom shorts.  Not the cute styles I like. 

On a whim, I decided to go over to the juniors department to torment myself further.  Talk about *major* depression!  The size large shirts I doubt would even cover one side of me.  But then I saw them… they were taunting me like the shorts that sit in my closet, but these came in more than one size.  In a moment of insanity, I picked up two pairs of some cute cargo jean shorts with an “at below waist” style with a drawstring (not that I would need to pull them tighter over “mama pooch”), that didn’t look too short, or too long.   They were the same style, just two different sizes. 

Back to the dressing room we went.  I felt like I was getting ready for a first date!  I actually had butterflies in my stomach, and I started talking to the shorts.

     “Please shorts, fit. Fit.  I don’t ask a lot out of life, but you would make me very happy if I could have one pair of shorts that don’t have “baggy butt,” or show “mama pooch.”

The first pair was the larger size, and I had to actually pull the drawstring in.  They fit!- well sort of.  As I sat down, they crept down.  Less attractive than “baggy butt,” or “mama pooch,” is butt crack. 

Well, I knew there was no way the smaller size would fit, but in another moment of insanity, I pulled them on.  Wait…they buttoned.  Good sign.  I tied the drawstring- not to hold them up, but to just tie them.  Another good sign.  Length was nice- hides upper thighs, but aren’t down to my knees, and “baggy butt” was nowhere to be found.  Okay, now came the test. I slowly sat down, not wanting the moment to end.  I forced myself to look in the mirror, and she was not there! 

“Mama pooch,” was not making an appearance!  I turned around, and butt crack wasn’t there either!  Then I heard the angels sing “Hallelujah, Hallelujah!”   I did it!  Three days, 6 stores, and probably 100 pairs of shorts later, I did the near impossible.  Found ONE pair of shorts that fit, and I actually look nice in. 

I can’t believe in the end it was the junior shorts that fit, but it makes sense now, because I was shopping in women’s and I guess that one size up from the woman’s size that wouldn’t fit, is the size I ended up with in juniors!  Who would have guessed?

I do know that I never want to shop for another pair of shorts again.  Hopefully it will stay warm for a while, because frankly, the thought of having to go jean shopping terrifies me.  But for now, I’m happy. 

Beach here I come, sans my three “friends,” “baggy butt,” “butt crack,” and “mama pooch.”