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    Make Me Laugh Monday- Real Women

    April 20, 2008

     

    (This was sent to me by a friend on my parenting board- thanks Tara!)

    Ladies- If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it  will absorb the excess salt for an instant  “fix-me-up.” 

    Real Women – If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that’s too damn bad. Please recite with me The Real Women’s motto: “I made it and you will eat it and I don’t care how bad it tastes.” 

     ************************************************************* 
    Ladies – Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 

    Real Women – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares? 
      
     *************************************************************  
     Ladies – Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. 
        
    Real Women – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.   

    ************************************************************* 
     Ladies – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. 
     
    Real Women – Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don’t have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs. 

     ************************************************************* 
     Ladies – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the  baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white mess on the inside of the cake. 
     
     Real Women – Go to the bakery – they’ll even decorate the damn thing for you. See! I’m not the only one!   

    *************************************************************   
     Ladies – Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. 
        
     Real Women – Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over them, so don’t do it.  

     ************************************************************* 
     Ladies – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish- washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. 
     
    Real Women – Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.

     ************************************************************** 
    And finally the most important tip…. 

       
    Ladies – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine.   Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 
     
     Real Women – What Leftover wine?? Amen! 

     ************************************************************* 
     

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    8 Comments »

    1. Robin says:

      Thats too funny!

      April 20th, 2008 at 11:58 pm

    2. Stacy (mama-om) says:

      Love that! Especially the tequila one.

      I’ve got two boys, too — almost 5 years old and one 18 months old.

      April 21st, 2008 at 12:09 am

    3. Jen says:

      This is great! I like the ice cream one best!

      April 21st, 2008 at 8:58 am

    4. bananas says:

      WHAT leftover wine?!?! Yes, yes, yes. LOVE this. Thanks for sharing!

      April 21st, 2008 at 5:29 pm

    5. Erin says:

      LOL

      April 21st, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    6. Storm says:

      Funny! I’m proud to say I am a real woman. Lol.

      April 22nd, 2008 at 8:22 am

    7. The Apron Queen says:

      Oh girl! You make me laugh! Stop by & see how I tackled my sanity! I’m still trying to get all the sand out of my shorts! :D

      For your daily dose of vintage goodness & a bit of silliness, stop by Confessions of an Apron Queen, the home of Vintage Thingies Thursdays.

      April 22nd, 2008 at 8:36 am

    8. apple pie recipe says:

      [...] in a peeled potato and it? will absorb the excess salt for an instant? ???fix-me-up.???? Real Womhttp://amamasblog.com/index.php/make-me-laugh-monday-real-women/The Stew The Tampa TribuneIn March, I wrote about Anna Maria Island pastry chef Andrea Spring, who [...]

      April 30th, 2008 at 8:06 am

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