Michael Jackson- Victim or Victimizer?

With the passing of Michael Jackson today, one of our generation’s biggest icons, my initial response was sad.

A few minutes later that had passed and I started to think about the child abuse allegations that he had been accused of in the last few years. 

I loved Michael Jackson growing up. I think he had talent.  I think he was an amazing dancer and entertainer and he took “rock star” to a new level.  I still turn the radio up when I hear his songs.  I am not questioning his talent nor his contributions to the entertainment industry, but as a mother his child abuse allegations are extremely disturbing to me.

Michael Jackson was a great singer and a pop icon- I liked his music and my family and I actually met him through a family friend in 1984. 

However, I feel Michael Jackson (MJ) was a *serial* child molester / pedophile, or whatever term you want to use.  

Non-molesters don’t have young boys over to sleep in their beds & then pay out millions to keep it quiet. Michael Jackson befriended young boys, sometimes from disadvantaged backgrounds, and then took them to his ranch, banning their parents.

This is a HUGE red flag.  If MJ loved children so much, why didn’t he befriend them at Disneyland? Take them to public places, have their parents along, or just even go hang out at these children’s homes?

Giving MJ the benefit of the doubt, and assuming he was victimized by these families out to destroy him and get money from him, which is what MJ claimed, he should have never had put himself in a situation like this again after the first allegation. But he did, and he chose to do this- still taking the boys to his private ranch.  

It is interesting how so many other celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Madonna, Meg Ryan, Mia Farrow, etc., can have big hearts for children and work with them, and yet none of them have been “victimized” claiming they have been falsely accused of molestation for money.  No child can describe Brad Pitt’s genitalia like one of  Michael Jackson’s alleged abuser could. I don’t consider Michael Jackson bigger than “Brangelina”, and there have been no claims of inappropriate sleep overs from the Jolie-Pitt house.  So I don’t buy into the money claim.  

The FACTS are MJ was arrested once and accused twice of child molestation.  He settled out of court once, and found not guilty once. Both times the details have been sealed, and millions of dollars were paid out.  If he had nothing to hide, why not let the facts get out there to clear his name? Celebrities get accused of false things all the time, but very few of them get arrested, and hide the details-twice.

The case would never have gone to trial without sufficient evidence in the 2005 case, where Michael and the boy were discovered sleeping in bed together. How many other celebrities are having sleep overs with minor children in their houses with doors locked, and parents banned?

How many just normal parents have sleepovers like this with their children’s friends?    I can imagine the outrage if a Boy Scout leader was found sleeping in his tent with boy scouts on on an overnight camping trip.  Parents and the public would be outraged-as we should be.  But since this is MJ and he could do the moon-walk, these facts are pushed to the background-suddenly a 40 year old man who has 13 year old boys sleep with him in bed, doesn’t matter.   

I view this like OJ Simpson. He never got convicted and was found not guilty either of killing his wife and Ron Goldman, but he had a lot of money, and was able to create doubt. Even if he could run with a football.  Are there any people out there ten plus years later that don’t think OJ had something to do with the murders of his wife and her friend?  Even though the jury said he didn’t?   

I don’t care what talent in life you have- if you put yourself in compromising positions when you are under a spotlight, especially with minor children, you create suspicion on yourself.  You have to be even more careful.     If they ever release the evidence and the facts of the cases about these boys and Michel Jackson comes to light that he was completely innocent, I will be the first to apologize for doubting Mr. Jackson’s innocence.  

Michael Jackson’s family has my sympathy- no family should have to lose a loved one, but I am more sorry for the families of MJ’s victims and the position these young boys were put in by an ADULT man who should have known better not to have young boys locked in his bedroom sleeping in the same bed with him. Some things in life, you just don’t get to do- and this is one of them.   

I don’t care if you can throw a football, raise money for children in Africa, run with a football, dance, sing, or are the greatest entertainer in the world.  Putting yourself in compromising positions over and over again with young children, that raises a question of inappropriate behavior with them is wrong.  No matter who you are.   

There is no free pass for taking advantage and molesting children. Don’t take them in your bed to sleep with them.  Don’t lock the door to the bedroom, and don’t ban the parents.  Seems pretty simple to me.  We all make mistakes, and no one is perfect. How could MJ NOT have known or had not been advised to do this-  but he chose to do it anyway.   

The world lost a great entertainer, but his victims have lost their innocence too.  They will never get that back.  Victimizing the most vulnerable in our society is unforgivable, and I for one, can’t help but feel somewhat relieved that there is one less person putting innocent children in compromising situations.

Note: for more information, read The Smoking Gun: The Case Against Michael Jackson: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/010605jackson.html

**NOTE: If you don’t share my opinion with me fine-feel free to leave your thoughts.  I don’t allow swearing or profanity on my blog and if you leave profanity in your comments I will delete the comment and block your IP. Let’s discuss but also be civil. Thank you.**

October 19, 2009-

Thank you for all the respectful comments and discussion.  It is very evident from the comments that people feel passionately about MJ’s innocence or guilt, depending on what they personally believe.  Many readers provided evidence for both sides, and these added greatly to the discussion.  My intention on this post was to never debate the legal matters and dig up every document ever produced on the case.  It was my opinion, as a mother, on how I felt about MJ’s behavior with children.  It seems more and more people are becoming very hostile, rude, and disrespectful when offering their opinion, and since I have less and less time to monitor the comments closely, I have decided to close the comments on this post.  I thank everyone again for the civil discussion.

Heather

After Thyroid Cancer Surgery

It has been 12 days since my thyroid and lymph node cancer surgery, and the recovery has been slow.  Thanks to my friend, Amy, who has posted a few updates, most of you know the basic details, and I am really exhausted tonight to write a lot. 

The best news by far was the cancer had not spread into my lymph nodes as much as my surgeon, Dr. S., had thought.  During the surgery he had sent for some of the pathology reports, and none of the lymph nodes on the right side of my neck were showing cancer.

This basically saved the right side of my neck from having to be dissected.  The left side of my neck had more cancer in the lymph nodes and he did have to do the dissection, but he was able to save more nerves than he had thought as well.  I have complete feeling on the right side of my neck, but as Dr. S., warned me prior to surgery, my left side of my neck from my earlobe to my collarbone is numb. 

I was recovering really well in the hospital, but after I got out of ICU, I ran into some problems with my medications, that  am still trying to bounce back from. 

I saw Dr. S., on Friday for him to take out some stitches and he had my full pathology report.  He removed 66 lymph nodes and my thyroid.  My thyroid was positive for cancer but out of those lymph nodes, only 7 had cancer.  It seems almost like  a miracle, and I am so happy at that good news.  

Dr. S., credited my nurse practitioner with early detection for my case not being as critical as originally thought.  As you can imagine, I am going to write a lot more about this in the future.  But start now at your annual exams having your health care provider check for any abnormalities in your thyroid and get it checked as soon as you can.

I am fighting through some pain in my shoulders, and I had the boys for a few days, before their dad has them for some vacation time.  My family and friends have been nothing less than wonderful, and I am so lucky to have so many people that have taken such excellent care of me.  I will never be able to repay them- but their loving gifts of time and help are precious to me. 

Now a lot of it is up to me.  I am going to start walking more every day (per doctor’s orders) and try to eat more, even though I do not feel like it.  I am going to rest more and and not push myself like I usually do.

Dr. S., told me sometimes a drain has to stay in for up to two weeks to catch the fluid, but I had the last of my four drains out the night before  I left the hospital.  He also said I was somewhat of a medical miracle in that my calcium levels barely dropped at all, once my thyroid was out.  It is very common for the calcium to take huge drops.  If the calcium drops too low, you can go into cardiac arrest.  Dr. S., said he had never had a patient whose calcium hardly dropped at all like mine did. 

This has been a very hard, painful cancer, and surgery to cope with, but as I hope to document, the recovery is coming along well, and I feel very optimistic.  This will be a life-long issue for me from this point.  My life will never be quite the same, but I have been cancer free now for 12 days,  there is no more cancer in my body, so this is a new start for my family, friends, and I.  

The picture below is a picture of me on June 12th, just after my surgery.  I am sharing it to show that thyroid cancer is still cancer- it shouldn’t be ignored.  It is a big deal. 

The next pictures  I share on my blog of me post-surgery will be much better.  Cancer can be beaten, but insist your provider checks your thyroid at your exams, and hopefully you will never have to have a picture of yourself like I do after a thyroidectomy.     

I will continue to keep you all updated, and once again thanks for the prayers and well wishes. I am not a huge “God” person, but I know He has looked out for me, and has taken care of me through this experience.  All the prayers, healing energy, and positive thoughts, have helped-and I thank you again for all of these you have sent to me.  

 I read before my surgery that cancer is a word-not a sentence, and it was all of you who helped me remember that.  I love you all. 

surgery-june-12-09  Thyroidectomy & lymph node surgery removal June 12, 2009

Another update and a thank you

This is Heather’s friend Amy again with another quick update on Heather’s recovery.

Heather was moved out of ICU on Saturday. On Sunday she had two drains removed from her neck. Her doctor said her blood work and labs are “excellent.” She is sore and tired, but very glad the cancer didn’t spread as much as was originally expected. She enjoyed a short visit from her sons on Sunday. And she wants to thank everyone again for all of their prayers and well wishes.

I think this is a good sign too – Heather has her crackberry in hand once again. ;) She updated her Facebook status a couple times now on her own. (Her sister had been doing it previously.)

Lastly, Heather and Mara (Heather’s sister) asked that I share a link to this post that Mara wrote a few days ago: Cancer Surgery Update.

A post-surgery update

Hi all,

This is Heather’s friend Amy just popping in quickly to update you all on Heather who had surgery to remove her thyroid and cancerous lymph nodes in her neck today. I don’t have a whole lot of information, but what I do have is good. The jist of it is that her surgeon said that everything went better than expected. She didn’t have as much cancer in her lymph nodes as they initially thought. As of 6 p.m. tonight she was in recovery and doing “fantastic” according to her sister. The doctor said he expects her to recover quickly. :)

Please continue to keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she recovers, as well as her two boys Ryan and Cole. I know Heather appreciates all of the love and support she’s received lately.

I’ll update again when there’s more to tell or maybe Heather will be well enough soon herself to do it. That wouldn’t surprise me at all. From what I hear she didn’t give up her Crackberry, I mean Blackberry, until the very last minute before surgery. I can’t blame her one bit. ;)

Love you Heather. I know you’ll be on your feet again soon. :)

– Amy

Cancer Surgery Day

Today is my surgery day- the day I have a complete thyroidectomy and neck dissection to remove the cancer in my thyroid and lymph nodes.  This isn’t the end of this, but the beginning- the beginning to get this out of my body.

I have written a lot over the past few months about my feelings and thoughts with cancer.  I have many more I haven’t written.  I have experienced every emotion, and then some.  I  discovered the strength people saw in me that I didn’t see in myself.  Through their eyes, I  have discovered that strength for myself.

I can’t thank everyone enough for all the positive comments, prayers, love, and support you have shown me during this time. I wouldn’t be feeling so optimistic about the surgery today and my future, if it wasn’t for all of you- my family, and my loved ones. 

 Today is the major step I have to take to get from being a cancer patient to a cancer survivor. This is the first of many steps, but I am ready.  I have done what I needed to do to prepare, and now it is time to turn it over to the highly competent people who have the medical knowledge to help me become cancer free.

I feel at peace, confident, and nervous.  I never in a million years imagined I would be facing a surgery of this magnitude, but in life we don’t always get to chose the direction it takes us in.  I have found so many positive things in this experience as well, and I will share those in another blog post in the future.

Please keep my family and myself in your thoughts and prayers today.  The surgery is going to be anywhere from 7-12 hours long.  My good friend, Amy, (aka Crunchy Domestic Goddess) will update my blog and my Twitter account for me when she can, since it will be several days before I am able to blog again.  Please keep Ryan and Cole in your prayers too. I am not sure how many days it will be before I am well enough to see them, and that will be one thing that will be motivating me for a fast recovery in the hospital. 

Tonight my sister, Vanessa, gave me card.  It said on the front of it, “everything will be okay in the end.  If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”  That made me laugh and it is true.  This isn’t the end for me- just a very big obstacle, but one that is not hopeless. 

 This surgery is hope for me, and is hope that I will recover and remain cancer free for my family and friends.   There has been some awful, awful dark days – days where I wanted to give up, but my family and friends wouldn’t let me.  Their amazing support got me through those days, and in that I found reasons to try another day and hope things would get better. 

I love you all, and thank you from the bottom of my heart for not just being there for me through this, but taking it on as well for me.  Thank you for giving me hope, when I couldn’t find it myself.  I am going to end this blog post with a quote I found a few days ago- you all helped me find that hope. 

When the world says, “Give up,”

Hope whispers, “Try it one more time.”

~ Unknown

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