Thanks for all the comments and e-mails regarding my mother. She passed away peacefully early Wednesday morning, and we were with her.
Needless to say, this is a very difficult time and the range of emotions are many. Losing my mother has been devastating, but there have been many positive experiences during the last week, and such an outpouring of love for my mom. It has been a great comfort to our family.
As we leave the city my mom lived and return home this weekend, our lives have changed. The person who has always been there for us- is gone. We have to find that place where we can move on with our lives, not consumed by grief, but with the happiness and love she has always given to us.
On Thursday morning my siblings and I all woke up at the exact same time in our hotel room because the sun was streaming in the room and was reflecting off a mirror. The light was very bright and intense. It was shinning in our faces, and it was odd how bright the room was. My brother closed the curtain, and I looked at the clock. It was the exact time my mom passed away, 24 hours earlier. I think she was telling us she was okay, and we are going to be okay too.
My friend told me that my mom will always be with me- I will just have to look for her. Maybe that’s part of how you get through something like this and live with the loss every day. Maybe our loved ones are never really gone, but the way they express their love, and their presence in our lives changes.