2010 September | A Mama's Blog

Running to Defeat Cancer- A Year Later

A year ago, after recovering from thyroid cancer, I decided I wanted to support others who were fighting cancer. I signed up for the Komen Denver Race for the Cure, supporting breast cancer. I had never run in a race before, and didn’t particularly like running. But I felt very thankful for the fast recovery I had from my own cancer, and figured it was the least I could do.

My doctors told me it could be a year recovery before I’d even start to feel “back to normal” again. My doctors warned me it was a very gradual upswing, and not to expect to feel better for a long time. If you have followed my cancer journey on my blog, or know me in real life, you know that this was not the case for me. As soon as I was on Synthroid, I felt the difference in hours. To date, I still have not had to have one medication adjustment, which is almost unheard of. My surgeon, who warned me of how hard the recovery was, and who has been treating thyroid cancer patients for 17 years, including his own wife, told me he had never seen someone recover as fast, with zero complications, like I have. He told me I was a bit of a medical miracle.

When I wrote my blog post last year, deciding I was going to run in the Race for the Cure, I was thankful I was doing so well. A year later and a year wiser, I am more thankful and grateful than I can express. I have no idea why I recovered so well. I am still in contact with a few people who had thyroid cancer surgeries the same time I did, and are still trying to get their thyroid replacement medication right, so they can start to feel back normal again.

Running in this race last year was very healing for me. I didn’t feel like I was a sick cancer patient, but I felt strong. I felt like I was on the right path for recovery. I had no idea at the time if my recovery was going to “last” or if I would experience the problems and complications my doctors had warned me about. It had been less than two months since I completed radioactive iodine therapy and had started on Synthroid. But I was so optimistic I was able to train for this race and run in it. I had a lot of support and encouragement and I still remember while running it- for the first time, in a long time- I felt alive, well, and healthy.

I was hoping to finish the race in under 40 minutes, and finished in 36:25. The race is self timed, and there are no official results. But crossing that finish line was monumental for me. I wasn’t sick with cancer anymore- I was a cancer survivor. And that day, I became a runner.

I was hooked. I loved it. I loved every second I was running the race. I loved the adrenaline, I loved the strategy, I loved I was smiling through the race, I loved pushing myself, I loved trying to pass the person ahead of me, and then trying to keep someone from passing me. I loved the fact that I could actually do something as physically challenging as running. I loved the fact that I was proving that cancer wasn’t going to define my life. When it was over, I loved the fact that I had accomplished something just weeks ago, had seemed impossible.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I know now what I loved most about that race. I moved from surviving cancer, to healing from cancer. Two very different mind sets. I never looked back at being a cancer survivor- I started focusing on healing from cancer, and being the strongest person I could be- mentally and physically. So the Komen Dennver Race for the Cure means the world to me. It put me on the path to heal from cancer. It helps breast cancer patients who have to fight a much harder fight, for much longer than I ever did.

I am running in the 5K again this year on October 3rd in Denver. I am well trained for this race, and plan on going for my personal (unofficial) fastest 5K time. I can’t think of a better 5K race where I would like to achieve a personal best. But just to be there again- strong, healthy, able to run, and cancer free is a gift. It’s a precious gift not everyone gets, and one that I am aware of every time I run. So I am going to give it my all, and run it the strongest I can. For myself and for all the cancer patients and survivors who can’t.

Last year I entered this race as a cancer survivor and ran. This year I am entering this race as a runner, who happens to be a cancer survivor. This is the spirit of the Komen Race for the Cure. I encourage all my readers to make a donation to the Race for the Cure, or better yet- sign up to walk or run in your local race. You can find a list of races here.

If you would like to make a donation in my name, to help raise money for breast cancer, you can click here. Thank you!

The Boy Scout Paradox

The day before the first day of school, Ryan’s school had a meet the teacher event. There was also a Boy Scout information booth set up in the hallway. As we were leaving, Ryan went right to the booth and started looking at all of the pictures. The leader started talking to us about the various levels, activities, and when it would start.

Ryan was intrigued and was very interested in becoming a Boy Scout. I never participated in Girl Scouts, or even knew that much about the program. Other than seeing the uniforms around, I wasn’t sure exactly what they did or what their purpose was. The leader told us the first meeting and information session for new scouts would be in a few weeks, and we signed up to attend the meeting.

The past few weeks I’ve asked friends who are involved in Boy Scouts their opinions. Everything I heard from them was positive. I asked my friends on my personal Facebook page, what their experiences with Boy Scouts had been, and again, it was all positive. There were several adult men who commented they had really enjoyed their time in Boy Scouts and it helped them learn a lot of different skills. One of my friends also commented there really is no other program out there for boys like it.

Then the comment came- just about the only thing I had remembered hearing about Boy Scouts, and that is their position towards gay people. I haven’t read the actual policy word for word, but they prohibit any person who is gay from being a leader or participating in the organization. This has been challenged legally, but since they are a private organization, the policy has been upheld.

One of my friends told me she would have enrolled her son, who is also in first grade, in Boy Scouts if not for this policy. She was still thinking about it. My friend Alison, told me she had friends who participated in Boy Scouts and it really depends on the local group. Another friend of mine from high school, who has been involved in Boys Scouts for years with his two sons, and who is a leader, confirmed the same thing. He also said in all his years involved, he had never heard one anti-gay comment, and it had never been an issue.

In our own circle of friends and family, there are gay people. I teach Ryan and Cole to treat everyone with respect and kindness. Personally, I disagree with the Boy Scout policy, and think they should change it- the sooner the better. Ignoring that people are gay, and preventing them to participate in an organization is discrimination. It seems hateful and very mean spirited. Most of the information I read said the Boy Scout organization does not ask, or divulge into a person’s sexual orientation. So it seems like the classic case of ”don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Because I don’t agree with the Boy Scouts national policy on this issue, is that a good reason to keep my six year old from joining the organization?

The biggest question I had was, would telling Ryan he couldn’t join, change anything on a national level? Sadly, the answer is no. I feel in this case, the harm would be greater to Ryan- telling him he couldn’t join- than it would be to the Boy Scouts. After considering what people have said their experiences have been at a local level, it didn’t seem likely that the anti-gay policy would be an issue at this time, in Ryan’s life. He’s only six, and doesn’t fully grasp all the issues involved in this situation.

I also think as a parent, the most important thing I can do is let him live life. The way he wants to, within boundaries of course. Ryan might not like Boy Scouts after he is in it for a year and will want to quit. Or he could love it. But if I never let him try what he wants to do, he will never know. If he wants to continue in it, there will be a day for this policy conversation with him. If he feels he doesn’t want to be part of an organization that bans gay people that will be his decision to make, when he is able to do so. Not mine.

Last night was the first meeting and Ryan loved it. His best friend, who is in his class, showed up as well. They both were so excited. They watched the older boys with the flags. They listened to the leaders speak. They sang a song, and learned more about some of the activities they would be doing. Ryan is already excited about archery. He wants to go get his uniform. Cole also whispered to me when he is in first grade, he wants to be a Boy Scout too.

The core values the Boys Scouts work hard to install, and the sense of accomplishment they help boys to develop in themselves, seems pretty amazing. I heard boys a few years older than Ryan speak with pride about their activities. They were well spoken, polite, and confident. It is puzzling that an organization that can cultivate these values with boys, has an anti-anything policy-especially a sexual orientation policy that can’t be chosen.

As I heard the boys speaking last night, and I watched my own son, excited and eager, my hope for him is to be confident, have a sense of accomplishment, and develop a strong sense of self. It’s bizarre the Boy Scouts have developed millions and millions of boys every year, with these strong core values, while maintaining their anti-gay policy.

If Ryan’s generation can recognize discrimination, work to change and correct it, then the Boy Scouts will have had a hand in this, by the values they help develop. Ending discrimination should start with the Boy Scout organization. It’s an ironic paradox.