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Angry Birds vs. Imagination

October 8, 2011 By A Mama's Blog Leave a Comment

Angry Birds- it’s the latest (addictive craze). I admit it- I love Angry Birds. When I finished the regular levels, I moved on to Angry Birds Seasons, and Angry Birds Rio.

At times, Ryan and Cole would see me playing and ask what I was doing. I showed them the game, and it and wasn’t too long after they were asking me if they could play Angry Birds. As a kid, the first real video game I played was Atari Pong. My brother and I would bounce that dot between the rectangles what seemed like for hours, and we had so much fun. Thinking back on it, I doubt kids today would even spend 10 minutes on Pong. Our society moves too fast now- there’s lights, colors, graphics, and noises everywhere- video games included. Simple video games like Pong, had their time, and it’s over.

That being said, I think Angry Birds can teach kids a little bit about physics and resolve. The boys didn’t want to stop until they had gotten all the pigs, and had gotten three stars on every level. They high fived and cheered when one of them achieved this, and they reminded me of my brother and I. Except they were crouched over a phone screen, instead of laying on the living room floor, looking at a TV set. Nevertheless, it was fun seeing them play a “video” game together.

It’s been several weeks since they have played Angry Birds. We are so busy at night with homework, and when homework is done, the boys have wanted to spend the last few precious minutes of daylight at the park, riding their bike, scooter, and playing with their friends.

A few days ago, we were hanging out on Sunday morning, and Cole asked me (make that begged) me if he could play Angry Birds. “Please Mommy, please- can I play Angry Birds?” I let Cole play, and within a few minutes Ryan had joined him, and they were working on the levels. I started doing some chores and before I knew it, 30 minutes had passed. I told the boys they had been playing the game long enough, and it was time to stop. They objected and asked if they could keep playing. I told them no, and they weren’t happy. They didn’t exactly throw a fit, but they went in their room and shut the door.

I assumed they were moping, and discussing what a mean mom they had. A few minutes later I heard a thump. Then another one, laughing, and a “Ryan, I know what will make this even better-dynamite!” Whenever you hear a phrase like that as a mother of boys, you go a running to check. It’s second nature by now. It’s like the mother drill: No questions asked, you just go- the sooner the better.

In their room, I assessed the situation. I saw Cole setting up their blocks around stuffed animals. Ryan was stringing a rubber band across his dresser knobs, about 3 feet away from the animals and blocks, and he was holding a pencil. I have seen a lot of funny, odd, weird, etc., things my boys have done, but I had no idea what they were up to.

“Look Mom, since you won’t let us play Angry Birds anymore, we made our own real life Angry Birds.” Ryan told me, as he lined up his pencil, through the rubber band. “This is the slingshot.”

“These are blocks and pigs, but this game is really called Angry Stuffed Animals.” Cole informed me.

Thump! Ryan let the pencil go, it hit the top of his bed frame, which was the backdrop. It landed on the block, and it grazed an “angry” pink dinosaur.

The boys squealed in delight. They laughed and did it again. And again. They knocked down the blocks, and angry stuffed animals- monkeys, dinosaurs, and giraffes. They arranged the blocks, Angry Stuffed Animals in various ways, and in different patterns and they would work on shooting the pencil from their “slingshot” until they knocked down all the animals and blocks. When they succeeded they said they had earned three stars, and constructed a new level.

They played Angry Stuffed Animals for an hour. I think they had more fun too. My brother and I never tried to construct Pong in real life, but we would play tennis. As I left their room to their laughing, it occurred to me as much as things change, they stay the same. Video games keep progressing and in any generation are fun, but they can never take the place of real life imaginings.

I have a new favorite “video” game. It doesn’t have fancy music and sounds, and it isn’t found in an app store. It has laughter, fun, excitement and creativity. It is found in the imagination of my boys, and that makes it the perfect game.

Angry Stuffed Animals

Filed Under: Activities, Cole, Mothering, Parenting, Ryan Tagged With: Angry Birds, imagination, video games

Time for an Update!

April 25, 2011 By A Mama's Blog 5 Comments

It’s been a month since I’ve written a blog post! I wish I had a great excuse for not doing so, but I’ve been busy. Mainly with work. I work in the accounting field, and this is always a busy time of year.

I’ve been well since my last post- finding out I was cured from cancer. It is pretty hard to top that! My doctor changed my Synthroid dosage slightly for reasons I mentioned in the previous post. I now take a smaller dosage on Sunday, and I’m finding I’m very tired on Monday and Tuesday. It’s amazing how such a small adjustment down in dosage can affect how I feel. I’ve been trying to get more rest on these nights, and just hoping eventually my body will adjust. But it’s always a process.

The weather has been so windy here, and we’ve had lots of rain and cooler temperatures. Combined with my being swamped at work, and extra tired two days out of the week, I’ve not been running as often or as long as I would like to. I also had a hard time last year, around this time of year. Everything with my mom being sick, dying, having her funeral, her birthday, and then Mother’s Day, started in February and goes until May. It’s only been a year, and it’s still an emotionally hard time during these “anniversary” dates.

I’m trying to let myself feel what I need to feel and not push myself physically too much. I have been able to get out on shorter runs on tougher routes during my lunch, and that feels like the extent of what I want to do with running for now. I hope as the weather gets nicer, I can start running longer distances again and get out on my bike. I was going to try to run a half marathon in April, but I hadn’t been able to build up the mileage, and I didn’t want to risk running that distance and get hurt. I’m not going to pressure myself to run in any races for the time being, but am just going to enjoy running when I can for now.

Ryan and Cole are doing great. School is almost over for them, and they are excited about attending a school / day camp program where they will be learning and going on field trips this summer. They have both learned how to ice skate, and enjoy playing hockey- on ice, and in our driveway. Ryan is finishing up Cub Scouts for the year and they both started karate lessons a few weeks ago. They love it, and are already talking about earning their next level belt. They don’t want to be white belts anymore! Here’s a picture of them from their first lesson:

I’m looking forward to summer- the warmer weather and spending time with my boys. They are growing so fast, and after this summer my “baby” will be in school full-time. Cole is going to be five next month, and in full time kindergarten in the fall. It seems like those years from when he was a baby to now, have just flown by. I hope we can slow down a bit during the summer, relax more, and I can savor what is left of my youngest child’s pre-school days.

My 20th (gulp) high school reunion is planned for July. I helped plan our 10 year reunion, and am helping out as much as I can on planning the 20th. If I thought my kids were growing too fast, it seems crazy I’ve been out of high school for (almost) two decades! It will be fun to see everyone in person, and see all of our kids- new ones, and see how the babies have grown into pre-teens and teenagers from the last reunion. Seems like we were just kids ourselves, and now we have kids- when did that happen?

I am planning a special post in June, to coincide with the two year anniversary of my thyroid cancer surgery. I’m excited about it, and I think it will help so many cancer patients looking for resources and answers.

This is some of what has been going on- of course there is more, but I’m trying to get to bed earlier, so the more will just have to wait. I post shorter updates on my FaceBook Fan Page. I hope you will stop by there, and even though it’s been a few weeks, thanks for continuing to read A Mama’s Blog.

Filed Under: Activities, Cancer, Cole, Family & Friends, Health, losing a parent, Parenting, Running, Ryan, School, Work Tagged With: children growing, life after cancer

The Boy Scout Paradox

September 1, 2010 By A Mama's Blog 10 Comments

The day before the first day of school, Ryan’s school had a meet the teacher event. There was also a Boy Scout information booth set up in the hallway. As we were leaving, Ryan went right to the booth and started looking at all of the pictures. The leader started talking to us about the various levels, activities, and when it would start.

Ryan was intrigued and was very interested in becoming a Boy Scout. I never participated in Girl Scouts, or even knew that much about the program. Other than seeing the uniforms around, I wasn’t sure exactly what they did or what their purpose was. The leader told us the first meeting and information session for new scouts would be in a few weeks, and we signed up to attend the meeting.

The past few weeks I’ve asked friends who are involved in Boy Scouts their opinions. Everything I heard from them was positive. I asked my friends on my personal Facebook page, what their experiences with Boy Scouts had been, and again, it was all positive. There were several adult men who commented they had really enjoyed their time in Boy Scouts and it helped them learn a lot of different skills. One of my friends also commented there really is no other program out there for boys like it.

Then the comment came- just about the only thing I had remembered hearing about Boy Scouts, and that is their position towards gay people. I haven’t read the actual policy word for word, but they prohibit any person who is gay from being a leader or participating in the organization. This has been challenged legally, but since they are a private organization, the policy has been upheld.

One of my friends told me she would have enrolled her son, who is also in first grade, in Boy Scouts if not for this policy. She was still thinking about it. My friend Alison, told me she had friends who participated in Boy Scouts and it really depends on the local group. Another friend of mine from high school, who has been involved in Boys Scouts for years with his two sons, and who is a leader, confirmed the same thing. He also said in all his years involved, he had never heard one anti-gay comment, and it had never been an issue.

In our own circle of friends and family, there are gay people. I teach Ryan and Cole to treat everyone with respect and kindness. Personally, I disagree with the Boy Scout policy, and think they should change it- the sooner the better. Ignoring that people are gay, and preventing them to participate in an organization is discrimination. It seems hateful and very mean spirited. Most of the information I read said the Boy Scout organization does not ask, or divulge into a person’s sexual orientation. So it seems like the classic case of ”don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Because I don’t agree with the Boy Scouts national policy on this issue, is that a good reason to keep my six year old from joining the organization?

The biggest question I had was, would telling Ryan he couldn’t join, change anything on a national level? Sadly, the answer is no. I feel in this case, the harm would be greater to Ryan- telling him he couldn’t join- than it would be to the Boy Scouts. After considering what people have said their experiences have been at a local level, it didn’t seem likely that the anti-gay policy would be an issue at this time, in Ryan’s life. He’s only six, and doesn’t fully grasp all the issues involved in this situation.

I also think as a parent, the most important thing I can do is let him live life. The way he wants to, within boundaries of course. Ryan might not like Boy Scouts after he is in it for a year and will want to quit. Or he could love it. But if I never let him try what he wants to do, he will never know. If he wants to continue in it, there will be a day for this policy conversation with him. If he feels he doesn’t want to be part of an organization that bans gay people that will be his decision to make, when he is able to do so. Not mine.

Last night was the first meeting and Ryan loved it. His best friend, who is in his class, showed up as well. They both were so excited. They watched the older boys with the flags. They listened to the leaders speak. They sang a song, and learned more about some of the activities they would be doing. Ryan is already excited about archery. He wants to go get his uniform. Cole also whispered to me when he is in first grade, he wants to be a Boy Scout too.

The core values the Boys Scouts work hard to install, and the sense of accomplishment they help boys to develop in themselves, seems pretty amazing. I heard boys a few years older than Ryan speak with pride about their activities. They were well spoken, polite, and confident. It is puzzling that an organization that can cultivate these values with boys, has an anti-anything policy-especially a sexual orientation policy that can’t be chosen.

As I heard the boys speaking last night, and I watched my own son, excited and eager, my hope for him is to be confident, have a sense of accomplishment, and develop a strong sense of self. It’s bizarre the Boy Scouts have developed millions and millions of boys every year, with these strong core values, while maintaining their anti-gay policy.

If Ryan’s generation can recognize discrimination, work to change and correct it, then the Boy Scouts will have had a hand in this, by the values they help develop. Ending discrimination should start with the Boy Scout organization. It’s an ironic paradox.

Filed Under: Activities, Mothering, Parenting, Ryan Tagged With: boy scout discrimination, Boy Scout gay, Boy Scout's policy on homosexual, Boy Scouts, Boy Scouts activities, Boy scouts position on gay people, Cub Scouts, Tiger Scouts

Leap of Faith

June 28, 2010 By A Mama's Blog 2 Comments

Our summer so far has been very busy. Compared to last year, though I’m not complaining, but when I envision summer, it seems like life should be moving slower, and it shouldn’t be so rush-rush- every day.

Someone once told me as your kids get older, life gets busier and that seems to be the case. I’ve been working, juggling daycare, and trying to plan some fun activities for the boys. I have also had to start looking around for a new place to live once the house we are living in sells. There has been a re-organization at work, and it just doesn’t seem like there are enough hours in the day to get everything done that I have and want to get accomplished. It is really overwhelming at times, realizing it is just me now. I don’t have any safety nets- if I don’t succeed in balancing work, finances, time with the kids- Ryan and Cole will suffer. The practical, over-planning part of me feels like I should work as many hours as I can, and then some.

Recently a good friend, who is a single mom of four, told me what she regretted. She said once she was divorced, she panicked about finances, and she made that her goal. She figured if she was okay financially, she wouldn’t be so stressed and it would mean security for her and her kids. She says though she really missed a lot of time with her kids, and they all suffered. She says she will never get that time back with her children, and the financial security came at way too high of a price. She told me no matter how crazy things seem to get, keep my kids as a priority, and everything else will work out.

So keeping that advice in mind, I am happy the boys and I have been able to do some fun things so far this summer. We’ve been swimming a lot with my sister and her daughter- the boys’ cousin. Last week when I was working and our childcare provider was on vacation, my sister took all the kids to the zoo, and they had a blast. Yesterday I was able to take the boys to see a local production of The Music Man. We have a camping trip with my dad, (Papa Dan), planned for July, and some vacation time planned.

In less than two months, school will start and Ryan will be in school full-time. Cole will be in preschool, and I will be working more hours. It is the end of an era for us. My kids and I will all be starting new chapters in life, and making adjustments. I am very grateful it seems like it will be good timing for everyone.

As I think about this last block of time we have- it really is a gift. I have been so fortunate to be able to share the majority of these early years with my children. With all the difficulties in the last year and a half, the highlight has been being able to have time with Ryan and Cole.

There are a million things I should and could be doing this summer. It is hard for me to not have every detail planned out. This is a very hard “leap of faith” I’m taking, but I believe it is the right step now for the boys and I.

But for the next two months, I’m not going to worry or stress. I’m going to get done what I need to, and enjoy the time with my children. I’m believing as my friend advised, put the kids first, and everything else will fall into place.

My friend, Steve, has a great blog- Fleur de Life. He ends every post by tying in what he wrote about as the Fleur de Life-the important things that really matter. I love the quote below, and to “borrow” from Steve- taking a leap of faith…-it is the Fleur de Life!

“When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.” –Barbara J. Winter

Filed Under: Activities, Cole, Household, Mothering, Parenting, Ryan, School, Work Tagged With: making it on your own after divorce

The Iron Scooter Challenge

April 25, 2010 By A Mama's Blog 3 Comments

Ryan and Cole have been asking for scooters. Their friends in the neighborhood all have scooters and they have been wanting to join them on their scooter rides. I held off to make sure they really wanted them, and they have kept asking for them, so Wednesday night I got both boys a new scooter.

Thursday after work was scooter inaugural day. It was drizzling off and on, but they still wanted to try them out. Ryan’s scooter popped out of the box. There was a release lever I had to adjust, and his was ready to go. He zipped around in the kitchen while I opened Cole’s.

My palms turned sweaty, and my heart started beating fast, when I opened the box to Cole’s scooter and saw a bag of nuts, screws, washers, and other silver things, I had no name for. There was also something that looked like a hybrid wrench, a piece of paper with a drawing of a scooter that looked like it was made by a 3-year old, the handle bars, and the front wheel. It all clunked out of the box.

I am NOT mechanical. Assembling things together is one of the things I hate most. There is ALWAYS a part missing, or part of the directions that don’t make sense. If I had known I had to actually attempt to assemble Cole’s scooter, I would have waited until someone could help me. But I was already too far in it. I had my 6-year old zipping around in the kitchen on his scooter, and my almost 4-year old, with his big blue eyes looking at me, asking me when I would have his scooter together. This is what “they” mean when “they” say parenting challenges you in ways you never imagine.

I picked up the directions, and the first step was:

Assemble back wheels with washers, axle, and spring washer

What is a spring washer exactly? Are there summer and winter washers too? The wheels were already on the deck. Did this mean they weren’t really on securely, or someone nice from the factory did the first step for me? I decided the latter, and moved on to step 2:

Insert axle through rear axle bearings

Uh-yea. I had no idea what that meant, so I hoped it was still a step I could skip thanks to the nice person in the factory in China. Step 3:

Slide a plastic spacer and third washer onto axle bolt followed by second wheel

Yay- it was my lucky day. Clearly this step was also done too. Step 4:

More mumbo-jumbo about axels, washers, and nuts. Then I noticed on the bottom of the directions, it said the assembly is for general use, and you may need to refer to the back side for more specific directions. I knew it was too easy. I read through the “specific” directions once, than twice, and then a third time. They should have had a class in this mechanical language in school. Step 1:

Slide metal washer down over the stem of the front forks. Slide the stem of the front forks up into the main frame until it is seated on the metal washer at the base of the front forks stem. Place the clamp bracket assembly over the stem of the front forks so that the nut and bolt face towards the foot deck. Ensure the slot in the fork stem of the front forks faces towards the foot deck.

Dear God…what did I ever do to deserve this? Forget Iron Chef- they should make a reality show on who can assemble kid’s stuff in under an hour.

I won’t bore you with steps 3 and 4 of the instructions, but it got down to clamp nuts, 13mm spanners, and minimum / maximum heights. Ryan was a great help- he held a lot of parts still for me while I twisted the hybrid wrench around the bolt. I just kept hoping,-somehow- when I was done, it would be a scooter.

I finally had it together and had Cole get on it to try it out. I was feeling pretty proud of myself, until he touched it, and the front handle bars, slid down all the way into the front pipe-thing. If Cole was about 24 inches shorter, he would have had one cool scooter. Instead he said, “I don’t think that is right Mommy.”

So I took the damn scooter apart and started all over again. Somehow the directions made just a little more sense, but that was probably because now I had read them fifty times, instead of just three times. Half way through, I realized my error. Silly me. It was right there in step 1: Ensure the slot in the fork stem of the front forks faces towards the foot deck. The small slot was not facing the foot deck- I had put it on backwards.

I was humming “Hallelujah” as I screwed the final nut or bolt back on again. My kids were not impressed. Ryan was looking at me, and pointed to the front wheel. The handle bars were now turned backwards. If Cole had Inspector Gadget arms, he would have had one cool scooter.

“They” say the third time is the charm. I unscrewed all those fricking bolts, nuts, and autumn washers- again. This time I had Ryan hold everything- the frame, the handle bars, and the front wheel while I assembled it. Finally, when I was done, I kid you not, sun streamed in through the window, and I knew this was a sign. The moment of truth came when he stepped on it. Nothing fell down. His arms worked with it. Everything lined up right. Cole had one cool scooter!

I am not going to go crazy and start buying stuff to assemble myself like bookcases, and desks, but I am glad I was able to figure it out. It only took three times, I had a slight headache when I was done, I had a washer left over- not sure if it was a spring or winter washer- but my son finally had his scooter.

Pictures of the final products & the kids enjoying them: