I came up with this tonight, while I was cleaning up from Christmas decorating.  It was a lot of work, after a long day.  Good thing the end results are worth it.  It’s officially Christmas now at our house!

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, every ornament was hung, from here to there. 

When Mom thought she was done, the children begged her to hang more lights just for fun.  

While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads, Mom secretly hoped it would soon be time for the children to go to bed, so the decorating could end.

When the children were nestled all snug in their beds, “Finally, the decorating is done,“ Mom said. 

She collapsed on the couch, and thought with all work at the holidays she need the help of an elf. She looked around at all the lights in the dark, and smiled in spite of herself.

The house was quite cheery, and it was a beautiful site. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

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I was making dinner tonight when Ryan, who will be 8 next month, walked into the kitchen and asked flat out, “Mom, is Santa real?” I froze.  I had no warning or idea this was going to be a question that needed to be answered for a few years at least, let alone right now.  A million thoughts flashed through my mind in the few seconds it took me to process his question. The biggest one of course was, ‘What am I going to tell him?’

I grew up as a Jehovah’s Witness, where we didn’t celebrate holidays, Christmas included. My parents at the time, told me flat out Santa was a lie parents told their children. The “church” also pointed out that “Santa” rearranged is “Satan.”  I never received gifts from Santa, and never faced the question if he was real.   My parents relaxed some of their views years later, my mom even left the religion and we celebrated a few very happy Christmases before she passed away.  But, I realized I was never left an example to fall back on regarding how and what to tell a child about Santa.

Since I never was allowed to celebrate Christmas as a child, I have lived it for the first times, mainly through the eyes of my children.  Christmas has been some of the happiest times and best memories I have so far of the boys.  It is magical. The excitement they have when they see the presents Santa has left for them under the tree- there is nothing like it.

I also think, part of the excitement is in realizing there is something good and positive which is “bigger” than them, at work.  I think it fills their hearts with a sense of security in knowing there is this nice man who just brings good kids presents.  It is simple- simple for young children to accept and believe.  Not so simple as the children get older.

I asked Ryan if he believed Santa was real, and he said, “No.”  I quickly tried to relay the idea of Santa , before Cole came downstairs and heard. I tried to tell him Santa is everywhere if you believe.  He started to cry in frustration.  I told him we would talk about it after dinner, when Cole was playing.

I thought about all through dinner and asked my friends on Facebook for advice.  After dinner, I took him in my room, shut the door, and cuddled with him on my bed.  I still didn’t really know what to say, but sometimes all you can do is follow what your heart tells you.  I took a deep breath, and told Ryan I had something to tell him about Santa.  I told him it was only for him to know right now, and he couldn’t tell Cole, or any other kids at school.

His face lit up. So far so good. I told him Christmas is a magical time of year when we all get reminders of love. One way people do that is by giving each other gifts.  I told him Santa helps the parents give gifts to their children.  He asked, “So you are Santa?”

I didn’t want to lie to Ryan but I didn’t want to quash his hopes and belief in the good Santa stands for.  In an instant it became clear to me and I said, “We are all Santa, Ryan. The parents help Santa with presents and Santa helps the parents.  Santa is the good, magical, and love in all of us, and this gets shown so much at Christmas.  Santa needs all of our help to do this everyday, but especially at Christmas.”

He looked a little confused and I continued, “Do you know how happy you feel when you help me, or do something nice for Cole?”  He told me yes. “Well, you are being like Santa when you do these things.  You are giving to people, and that is what Santa is all about. So I think he is very real, because if you look for him, you will see him every day, not just at Christmas.”

He said he felt better and I told him he was old enough now to be trusted with this.  I told him little kids like Cole though, don’t think of all the questions he has, so this year he gets to help Santa with Cole.

He smiled and gave me a hug, and I told him once more before we opened the door, that this was an important thing to know, and Santa was counting on him now.  He said he knew, nodded his head, and off he went to play with Cole.

I realized later tonight, in the almost seven years since my baby had his first Christmas, it itsn’t entirely up to me anymore to have him believe in Santa.  He is becoming his own person, with his own ideas and thoughts.  He will have to decide for himself what he thinks about Santa.

I hope some of what I told him, helped him get a grasp that Santa may not be an actual guy in a red suit, with reindeer, who comes down a chimney.  I think that was the part he was having a hard time believing.  But I hope it opened up to him the ideas of what Santa really is, if he believes.

Ryan's First Christmas, 2004

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A few weeks ago, I started looking at websites and Googling ideas for Halloween costumes for a party.  I’m not sure when it happened, but every single costume I clicked on is a “sexy” version of what I was thinking of.  It doesn’t matter what the costume: vampire, pirate, angel, Wonder Woman, Raggedy Ann (yes, Raggedy Ann now has her own sexy costume.) Evidently, nothing is sacred anymore, and even a good old fashioned nun can be sexy costume.

As a girl, I loved Wonder Woman.  Compare these two pictures.  Wonder Woman as I remember her:

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Two years ago, my sister, Mara, who is a second grade teacher at a very impoverished school outside of Denver, had her students write a letter to Santa Claus.  She had never done this before, and was expecting typical requests from eight year-olds.  The letters were anything but typical- they were heartbreaking.  She sent an e-mail to her family and friends with some of the requests, asking if there was any way we could help out her students. 

The request that touched me the most was from a little boy who only asked for “socks with no holes in them.”  I posted Mara’s request on my blog, and the response was overwhelming.  Each child in Mara’s class received an item they desperately needed, like new socks.  We were also able to give every child a new toy, game, or book. 

Last year a girl in Mara’s class told Santa in her letter, that she didn’t need anything, but her sister needed a coat.  This year, the letters are just as touching, and some are just heartbreaking. For three years now, when I read these letters to Santa from these young kids, it puts everything in perspective for me.  It also makes me sad these children know what it is like to be cold and hungry. 

Here are some of the items the children this year in Mara’s class have asked Santa for (these are unedited):

“…I need a blanket and I need food to eat because I have NO blankest becauze my mom doesnt have money.”

“…the winter is so cold and I need boots.  I’m wearing my grandpas shoze and hes feet are too big so I trip.  I also need soks because I can’t find any.” 

“…I need a blanket because I sleep on the ground.  Something els I need Is Pillows becaues I need them so the floor wont hurt my neck.”

“..I Need a blancit cos i am cold at nit. I need to go to shcol. I want a fotbal cos i like fotbals.”

Here is an excerpt from Mara’s note, and I agree with her wholeheartedly:

The highlight of my  past two holiday seasons has been the amazing effort you all have shown in taking care of my kiddos.  I hope the pictures from the last two years have assured you how much your gifts make a difference…even for one day.  I’m here to tell you that all of us together can make a difference for these kids.  They make me smile and laugh everyday with their unbreakable spirit and heart and I assure you that even a pair of gloves and a book from a stranger matters to a 8 year old.  They get a sparkle in their eyes.  It’s brought me to tears more than once.

 Here are the details if you can help:

 We’ll take anything EXCEPT cash/checks.  Gift cards to TARGET would be the most helpful because we could trade them in for gifts.  If you’d really like to donate books and be sure that’s where your gift was going, you can make your check out to SCHOLASTIC BOOKS and I will be sure to use it for that.  We’d also love any chapter books, school supplies, etc.  I will make sure every child in my class will get something new this Christmas.  Thank you so much!
Please send what you can to:
 
Alsup Elementary School
c/o Mara Corzine
7101 Birch Street
Commerce City, CO  80022

If you would like to see how much these gifts mean to these kids, you can see pictures from 2008 here. 

I have also posted my sister’s e-mail in its entirety, with more letters from the kids on A Mama’s Blog Fan page on Facebook.  

Thank you for your help!

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Alison and I were certain the race was a 9K, which is 5.5 miles.  The last few weeks I’d been preparing on how to run this distance in a race. I figured out how fast I needed to run each mile, and practiced to try to get the time I was hoping for- 50 minutes.  A few days ago, I ran 5.6 miles in 49 minutes, so I decided I’d try to hit 45 minutes for the race.  Ryan and Cole have been running short distances with me to train for their race. 

So on Mother’s Day, after making a big breakfast for the boys and I, and opening the cards they made for me, we headed out to the race site at the Boulder Reservoir.  We met up with Alison, her husband, Iggy, and their little boy, Winston.  The kids race was about to start so Cole and Winston lined up for the first wave:

Then they were off!

Ryan ran in the last wave, and he was ready to run!  

Alison and I got ready for our race, while the three boys and Iggy went off to play.   They announced then the race was a 9.9K, or 6.1 miles.  Alison and I were surprised we both had missed that.  It wasn’t that much in terms of distance, but for preparation it was huge.  I have ran a lot farther than 6.1 miles before, but never in a race or in a training run.  I didn’t know when I would peak, when I would start getting tired, or any of that.  There wasn’t a lot I could do, except run and see what happened. 

Alison met up with one of her friends, Kelli, and after chatting for a bit, we were ready to line up.  The fastest starting time they had was 7 minutes, and even though I wasn’t going to try to run every mile at that pace, I decided to line up there.   They announced there were almost 2,000 runners, so it was crowded, but the race organizers had everything running very smoothly. A few moments later, we were off!

The first mile seemed to fly by. I ran the first mile in 7:34, but figured I had better slow down a bit- there was still 5 miles to go.  The course had turned into dirt, gravel, and grooved road.  Some of the spots were really loose, and I had a few issues with really getting my feet planted.  There were a few hills too that weren’t super easy for me.  I’ve ran on a lot steeper and tougher hills, but during the race, the hills were challenging me.  

A handful of runners passed me.  I was trying to run a pace of 8:30 for the next few miles to make sure I would have enough left at the end.  The scenery was really pretty, and there was plenty of room to run, but I wasn’t getting into the groove I like.  I was struggling on the gravel at points, and was too overly focused on the pacing.  

At the beginning of mile 3, I was able to see the front of the pack, and the bikes leading the runners.  I was surprised for a minute when I realized there were not that many people in front of me.  I figured there were about 100 runners ahead of me.  It made sense since I started at the front, and not that many people had passed me.  That definitely gave me a boost. The race was half over, and it looked liked I was in the top 10%. 

At mile 4, I had crossed the reservoir, and I glanced across it.  I saw a sea of runners- the path was packed.  It dawned on me even though I wasn’t having my best race, or doing my best running, I was ahead of all of those runners- almost 2000 of them by a least a mile.  I thought back to my first race last October, and never thought 7 months later, I’d be running so strongly in a hard race with good runners.  It really hit me then how far I’ve come as a runner.   

When I hit 5.5 miles, the distance I thought I was going to be running, I was right at 45 minutes.  It made me feel good that I would have hit this goal even though it wasn’t the goal anymore.  I started to run faster, and the course was not that crowded.  There wasn’t anyone I felt like I could try to pass, so I concentrated on running faster and faster towards the end, and finishing strong.  It helped the last stretch was downhill. 

When I approached the finish line, I saw the official clock was at 50:58.  I ran as fast as I could, hoping to finish under 51 minutes, but I didn’t quite make it.  I saw the clock turn to 51 minutes and then I hit stop on my Garmin, so I wasn’t exactly sure what the official time would be, but knew it would be 51-something. I grabbed some water, and a few minutes later, I saw Alison running to the finish line.  We were both very happy we had run well and finished strong.   

We found the kids and Iggy, and visited some of the booths. Then we let the kids play on the beach, get their feet (and pants) wet, make sandcastles, and we had a picnic. 

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