My boys, Ryan and Cole, started second grade and kindergarten today.  Like most kids, they were excited. 

I have been feeling the impact of this day, for a week.  Perhaps I really started feeling it hours after they were born.  One day…they would be old enough to go to school.  One day…they will be going to kindergarten.  One day…their baby days will be over.  As I sat with them, nursing them, holding them, snuggled up in their baby wonderfulness- their tiny fingers, their chubby cheeks, their total dependence, “one day” was not today.  “One day,” was some day in the very far future- a blur on the horizon, almost impossible to see.

But today, that “one day,” is here.  It’s not a blur anymore. My two boys ran giggling and laughing through the kitchen, excited, fetching their backpacks, opening the refrigerator to get their lunches, put them in their backpacks, put their shoes on, and run outside for pictures, almost oblivious to me.  I didn’t notice this as much when Ryan started school full time, because I still had Cole- the baby.  In some part of my mind, I still imagined Cole being my little guy for while.  Ryan may grow and go to school because he’s the oldest, but my baby will always be my baby.

My baby dressed himself, made his bed, grabbed his things, rearranged his backpack the way he wanted, and couldn’t wait to get to school.  He posed for his pictures, proud he is finally old enough to go to school like his big brother.  We went to the before school care for a few minutes, so Cole could get familiar with the routine.  He went with me last year, when I took Ryan. But this year he was a student, not the younger brother too little to be there himself.  He hugged the teachers when he walked in. He didn’t even need Ryan to show him where to hang his backpack. He gave me a little hug, and went and sat in the gym, ready.

As I waved goodbye to them in the gym, and left, there was no denying it is the end of an era for me as a mother.  Both my boys’ baby days are gone.  As many hours as I spent with them as babies, it is over and it seemed like it happened in a blink of an eye.  When did the baby who slept on me for 18 months- who couldn’t and refused to sleep anywhere but on his mommy, grow into a confident boy, ready and eager to tackle kindergarten?

From the moment my children were born, I wished for them to be happy, healthy, confident, and to know they are loved.  I felt proud of my boys, and so lucky to be their mother.  The helpless, defenseless, dependent babies, I spent the last seven and a half years nurturing, reached another milestone today, effortless. 

Nothing changes without growth, and sometimes growth can hurt and be bittersweet.  But as they emerge from the growth, and spread their wings, it is an amazing moment in time.  I felt proud, knowing the time I have devoted to my boys, from the moment they were born to today, has been the most worthwhile thing I have ever done.  To know your kids are doing okay, and to see they are ready to move forward- that is one of life’s most precious gifts.   

Their lives are really just beginning. It is the end of an era for us- the end of babies, toddlers, and pre-schoolers.  But it is also the beginning of a new one, and I can’t wait to see how far they will go.          

Ryan & Cole- First day of school

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It’s been a month since I’ve written a blog post!  I wish I had a great excuse for not doing so, but I’ve been busy.  Mainly with work.  I work in the accounting field, and this is always a busy time of year.

I’ve been well since my last post- finding out I was cured from cancer.  It is pretty hard to top that!  My doctor changed my Synthroid dosage slightly for reasons I mentioned in the previous post.  I now take a smaller dosage on Sunday, and I’m finding I’m very tired on Monday and Tuesday.  It’s amazing how such a small adjustment down in dosage can affect how I feel.  I’ve been trying to get more rest on these nights, and just hoping eventually my body will adjust.  But it’s always a process. 

The weather has been so windy here, and we’ve had lots of rain and cooler temperatures.  Combined with my being swamped at work, and extra tired two days out of the week, I’ve not been running as often or as long as I would like to.  I also had a hard time last year, around this time of year.  Everything with my mom being sick, dying, having her funeral, her birthday, and then Mother’s Day, started in February and goes until May.  It’s only been a year, and it’s still an emotionally hard time during these “anniversary” dates. 

I’m trying to let myself feel what I need to feel and not push myself physically too much.  I have been able to get out on shorter runs on tougher routes during my lunch, and that feels like the extent of what I want to do with running for now.  I hope as the weather gets nicer, I can start running longer distances again and get out on my bike.  I was going to try to run a half marathon in April, but I hadn’t been able to build up the mileage, and I didn’t want to risk running that distance and get hurt.  I’m not going to pressure myself to run in any races for the time being, but am just going to enjoy running when I can for now. 

Ryan and Cole are doing great.  School is almost over for them, and they are excited about attending a school / day camp program where they will be learning and going on field trips this summer. They have both learned how to ice skate, and enjoy playing hockey- on ice, and in our driveway.  Ryan is finishing up Cub Scouts for the year and they both started karate lessons a few weeks ago.  They love it, and are already talking about earning their next level belt. They don’t want to be white belts anymore!  Here’s a picture of them from their first lesson:

I’m looking forward to summer- the warmer weather and spending time with my boys.  They are growing so fast, and after this summer my “baby” will be in school full-time.  Cole is going to be five next month, and in full time kindergarten in the fall.  It seems like those years from when he was a baby to now, have just flown by.  I hope we can slow down a bit during the summer, relax more, and I can savor what is left of my youngest child’s pre-school days. 

My 20th (gulp) high school reunion is planned for July. I helped plan our 10 year reunion, and am helping out as much as I can on planning the 20th.  If I thought my kids were growing too fast, it seems crazy I’ve been out of high school for (almost) two decades!  It will be fun to see everyone in person, and see all of our kids- new ones, and see how the babies have grown into pre-teens and teenagers from the last reunion.  Seems like we were just kids ourselves, and now we have kids- when did that happen?

I am planning a special post in June, to coincide with the two year anniversary of my thyroid cancer surgery.  I’m excited about it, and I think it will help so many cancer patients looking for resources and answers.

This is some of what has been going on- of course there is more, but I’m trying to get to bed earlier, so the more will just have to wait.  I post shorter updates on my FaceBook Fan Page.  I hope you will stop by there, and even though it’s been a few weeks, thanks for continuing to read A Mama’s Blog.

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Lice. I hate that word, and I hate the havoc the nasty little bugs cause.  When I was small, I remember my mom constantly having to do head checks on us for lice.  There seemed to always be an infestation at school or at church.

My sister’s and I had hair down to our waists, so the procedure of my mom looking through all of that hair for lice eggs was not fun.  We never had lice, but she didn’t take any chances.  Whenever a new report of lice came out, we would have the head inspection, and all our bedding would be washed, and or stored away in garbage bags for a few weeks.  At the time, not a lot of information was out there about lice, so my mom was trying to be proactive.

I haven’t thought about lice in decades.  Until yesterday, when Ryan’s school said there had been a few confirmed cases of lice.  The afterschool care had his items double bagged in garbage bags, (just like when I was a kid), and said they were taking every precaution since one of the kids with lice has had it twice now. 

According to Kidshealth.org, some of the signs of lice are scalp itching, and small red bumps or sores from scratching. Lice can be seen with the naked eye, and some kids may even feel the lice and verbalize it.  Lice eggs can look like dandruff, but they will not flake off the hair when flicked, like dandruff will.

Kidshealth.org also has some good suggestions on how to get rid of lice, or prevent an reinfestation:

Wash all bed linens and clothing that’s been recently worn by anyone in your home who’s infested in very hot water (130° Fahrenheit, 54.4° Celsius), then put them in the hot cycle of the dryer for at least 20 minutes.

Dry clean any clothing that isn’t machine washable.

Have bed linens, clothing, and stuffed animals and plush toys that can’t be washed dry-cleaned. Or, put them in airtight bags for 2 weeks.

Vacuum carpets and any upholstered furniture (in your home or car).

Soak hair-care items like combs, barrettes, hair ties or bands, headbands, and brushes in rubbing alcohol or medicated shampoo for 1 hour. You can also wash them in hot water or throw them away.           

I didn’t find a lot of information on preventing lice when you have never had it, although the above guidelines may apply if your child has been around an infested person. 

The school seems to have taken all the precautions they can.  Ryan told me even their classroom chairs are covered in plastic.  I talked to him about not sharing hats, combs, sunglasses, and the school is having their personal items plastic bagged for now.  I am also going to wash his clothes every night until the school is “deloused, “as an extra precaution.  I’d much rather do a small load of laundry daily, than have to deal with lice in our home, and the process of getting rid of them. 

There are a lot of natural remedies out there too, but I didn’t find anything very consistent.  I usually like natural remedies in most cases, but with lice, since they are so contagious, I think the conventional methods for treating lice is best and most effective to eliminate them completely. 

In the meantime, we will have Ryan’s coat and backpack bagged up every day, I’ll be doing laundry at night, and keeping my fingers crossed those dreaded nits don’t make an appearance in our house, or on our heads!

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Our summer so far has been very busy.  Compared to last year, though I’m not complaining, but when I envision summer, it seems like life should be moving slower, and it shouldn’t be so rush-rush- every day.

Someone once told me as your kids get older, life gets busier and that seems to be the case.  I’ve been working, juggling daycare, and trying to plan some fun activities for the boys.  I have also had to start looking around for a new place to live once the house we are living in sells.  There has been a re-organization at work, and it just doesn’t seem like there are enough hours in the day to get everything done that I have and want to get accomplished.  It is really overwhelming at times, realizing it is just me now.  I don’t have any safety nets- if I don’t succeed in balancing work, finances, time with the kids- Ryan and Cole will suffer.  The practical, over-planning part of me feels like I should work as many hours as I can, and then some. 

Recently a good friend, who is a single mom of four, told me what she regretted.  She said once she was divorced, she panicked about finances, and she made that her goal. She figured if she was okay financially, she wouldn’t be so stressed and it would mean security for her and her kids.  She says though she really missed a lot of time with her kids, and they all suffered.  She says she will never get that time back with her children, and the financial security came at way too high of a price.  She told me no matter how crazy things seem to get, keep my kids as a priority, and everything else will work out. 

So keeping that advice in mind, I am happy the boys and I have been able to do some fun things so far this summer.  We’ve been swimming a lot with my sister and her daughter- the boys’ cousin.  Last week when I was working and our childcare provider was on vacation, my sister took all the kids to the zoo, and they had a blast.  Yesterday I was able to take the boys to see a local production of The Music Man.  We have a camping trip with my dad, (Papa Dan), planned for July, and some vacation time planned.   

In less than two months, school will start and Ryan will be in school full-time.  Cole will be in preschool, and I will be working more hours.  It is the end of an era for us.  My kids and I will all be starting new chapters in life, and making adjustments.  I am very grateful it seems like it will be good timing for everyone.  

As I think about this last block of time we have- it really is a gift.  I have been so fortunate to be able to share the majority of these early years with my children.  With all the difficulties in the last year and a half, the highlight has been being able to have time with Ryan and Cole. 

There are a million things I should and could be doing this summer.  It is hard for me to not have every detail planned out. This is a very hard “leap of faith” I’m taking, but I believe it is the right step now for the boys and I. 

But for the next two months, I’m not going to worry or stress.  I’m going to get done what I need to, and enjoy the time with my children.  I’m believing as my friend advised, put the kids first, and everything else will fall into place. 

My friend, Steve, has a great blog- Fleur de Life.  He ends every post by tying in what he wrote about as the Fleur de Life-the important things that really matter.  I love the quote below, and to “borrow” from Steve- taking a leap of faith…-it is the Fleur de Life!

  “When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.” –Barbara J. Winter 

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My kids are pretty good about not begging, or whining for things.  But they are kids, and they have their methods of operations.

Ryan is very persistent when he has his eye on something and will mention it several times- he never forgets anything.  He seems to just wear me down over time.  He doesn’t whine, but just never drops the subject. 

Cole looks at me with his big, blue, eyes and smiles at me, and it gets me every time. Good thing he isn’t at an age where he is asking for more than goldfish crackers for his snack right now.

A few days ago Ryan mentioned in passing that his school was having a book fair, and there was a pointer he really liked.  He said we could go on Thursday.  It didn’t really register at the time, so I told him we’d talk about it on Thursday.

Today when he came home from school he told me that we were going to the book fair tonight- it was the last night, they were open until eight, and he needed the pointer for his “classroom.” He added, “Please Mom,” which he never does. 

Ryan loves playing school.  On the days he doesn’t have school, he has played school for eight hours straight.  He has lesson plans, reading, music classes, hall passes- everything.  So when he said this pointer was for his class, I asked him to tell me about it.  He said it was a pointer so he could read and point to the words in his books and so he could teach the kids in his class.  I told him I’d think about it.

When it was time for dinner, Ryan said we had to hurry up to eat so we could get to the book fair before eight.   I was torn.  I don’t want to give into my kids every time they want something.  On the other hand, it is so innocent.  He wasn’t asking for an $80 video game- he wanted something to enhance his school play.  While I was debating the pros and cons, he started crying and said if he didn’t get the pointer, he was never going teach again!  So dramatic!

I explained to him that we don’t throw fits when we don’t get what we want.  I told him if he stopped that behavior, I would keep thinking about it, and let him know after dinner.  Of course he stopped crying right away, and I told him after dinner we would go check out the book fair. 

When we walked into the library, his eyes lit up and he said, “Come here Mom, and I’ll show the pointers.”  I guess I was expecting a little laser pointer, or something with a little light on the end of it, and it took everything I had not to start laughing when I saw what my son had his heart set on:

I told him and Cole they could each get one, and they both stood there for several minutes deciding which color pointer to get.  It was very cute and evidently, very important. 

I remember when I was Ryan’s age- that time in childhood when playing and make-believe is your biggest worry.  Those times go so fast- they are almost gone for Ryan.  I looked at how innocent and care-free both my boys are right now, and know it won’t always be this way for them.  Childhood is gone in a blink of an eye.   One day, that will be here sooner than I think, we will have much bigger issues to face than pointers at the book fair.  

Ryan and Cole may never remember the pointers, but I will.  For now those pointers delay the inevitable a bit, and help keep my children, children just a little longer.

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