On Saturday, we went to a farm where we could pick as many vegetables as we wanted, and where there were a lot of fun things for the boys.

There was a real fire engine, and the boys had fun playing on it,  Next up were barrel rides pulled by a tractor:

Next we headed for the hayride to take us to the fields, and we spent the next three hours in the fields picking produce.  We picked corn:

and the boys dug for potatoes:

 We also got a ton of onions- red, white, and yellow onions, Indian corn, chili peppers, butternut squash, and pumpkins.  Cole was so tired from all the picking, he crashed out in my arms:

After we were back from the fields, and Cole had woken up, the boys played on the fire engine again, and Ryan went to play in the huge bouncy castle, while I took Cole and let him play on the various farm equipment:

We finally left late afternoon, as it started to get cloudy and cool.  When I asked the boys what they liked best, they said picking the vegetables.  I think it is important for kids to realize where their food comes from.

We are lucky this great farm is so close where the boys can learn about farming, see the food, participate in harvesting it, and have fun-all at the same time.

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A few weeks ago, I wrote about my preschool dropout, Ryan.  The comments telling me not to worry, were so appreciated, but we felt like we still needed to explore the option.

I suppose I am the one mother who didn’t get the memo that you cannot wait until back-to-school time to register your child for preschool.  Our school district has about six preschools in some of the elementary schools, and I assumed I could register Ryan at the one in the town we are hoping to move to.  WRONG.

When I called, the lady was very nice, but laughed.  She said I had to register for preschool back in January.  What?  I can’t even plan ahead to next week, let alone eight months ahead of time.  She told me they were completely filled, but they would put Ryan on a waiting list. 

I tried the other schools, and it was the same story.  One school that did have an opening, would have been in the farthest possible location from where we live now, and if we move.  The days they had open also did not work with our schedule.  Since I work two days a week, it was going to be tricky at best, to find something that worked.

So, I resigned myself that Ryan was a preschool dropout, and I was going to homeschool him for preschool.  We have been working on his name, numbers, letters, shapes, and colors anyway. Recently, he is starting to pick out a few words out of books that he recognizes, so I thought we were on the right track. 

The director at the farm program where Ryan went last year e-mailed me as well and said she had a few afternoon openings, so I signed him up for some sessions, just so he could be around other kids, and get the experience of being in a class.

But it was still bothering us.  Neither Joe or I, are teachers.  We were worried that we would be missing something.  What if we brought him to kindergarten next year, and he was the only kid that couldn’t do X, because we didn’t enroll him in preschool? But our options were severely limited.

Ryan’s wonderful grandmother (Joe’s mom) came to the rescue.  She told us about a center in town that caters to children with special needs.  She informed us that they have a preschool, where they combine special need kids and non-special needs kids in the classes.  She said it had a great reputation. 

Right off the bat, I loved the idea of that type of environment for Ryan.  I think he is at the perfect age to start learning about differences and in turn, learning tolerance and empathy.  I looked up the website, and was thrilled to see they were advertising at the top of their page, that they still had openings for non-special needs kids in his age group.  I read about the program, and became even more impressed.

We called the school the next day, took a tour, and even though they normally request that the four-year olds attend school four days a week, they said they would still love to have Ryan come for two days a week.  Because of my work schedule, there is no way I could bring him four days a week, but with some help from Ryan’s grandparents we will be able to do the two days a week.

The school was amazing.  All the teachers have bachelor degrees and or masters in early childhood education.  All the assistants at a minimum, have certificates in early childhood education too.  The ratio in the class is half the kids with special needs, and half the kids without.  There is one teacher, and two teaching assistants.  They are very organized and send home a lesson plan every week, so you know what is happening and what the kids are learning.  They have field trips.  One is coming up to a farm to see animals, take a hayride, and pick vegetables.  It just seemed like the perfect place for Ryan.

Today was his first day, and he was excited to go.  He told me he was a little nervous, but he was happy that he wouldn’t have to take a nap, since he’d be at school.  When we arrived, the director walked us to the class, where he met some of his classmates.  Ms. A., (his teacher), gave him a hug, and told him she’d show him where he could put his backpack.  Ryan barely gave me a hug, and he was off with Ms. A. 

Cole and I watched for a minute, and Ms. A., sensing I  needed another good-bye, pointed Ryan in my direction.  My little boy gave me a hug, and he was back off to Ms. A. Outside the classroom, there is a one-way window, and the director told me I could stay and watch as long as I wanted.  Cole was getting tired, so we left. 

It is odd turning your child over to someone else, to take over teaching them, even for just a few hours a day.  But this school seems so nurturing and supportive-it felt right. 

When we picked Ryan up, he had, had a blast.  He told us about the stories they had read, the snack they had, and the toy front-loader he got to ride during recess.  He was also happy to see that his name in his cubby, was attached to a yellow triangle.  That was very important. 

Ms. A. called us tonight and told us how comfortable Ryan seemed and how well he did today.  His first day couldn’t have gone better. It should be a fun year, and I can’t wait to see and hear about all the exciting new things he learns.  Here are a few pictures before we left for the first day:   

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Since we weren’t sure if we would be living somewhere new this fall, I have put off enrolling Ryan in pre-school.  He went to an enrichment type school last year on a farm, and we have been thinking about sending him there again for the fall and winter.  However, since he will be starting kindergarten next fall (gulp), we have also been thinking about enrolling him in a more formal pre-school setting.

Not knowing what to do, I have taken to asking Ryan what he wants-just to hear his thoughts on the matter.  Every time I bring up the subject, he tells me he is not going back to school.  The first few times he said this, I brushed it off, but it is a little concerning to me that he is not excited or has any desire to go back to school. 

I brought up the subject again with him today:

Me: Are you ready to go back to school?

Ryan: I am never going back to pre-school ever again.  I am going to stay home and play all day.

Me: Why don’t you want to go to school?

Ryan: There are too many kids, it is boring, and I get straw in my shoes.

(Light bulb moment for me- at last I felt like I was getting to the root of the problem)

Me: What if we go to a new school where there aren’t as many kids, and you aren’t bored?

Ryan: Nope.  I’m not going back.

Me: Well, what are you going to do for a job when you get older if you don’t go to school?  You have to make money one day, and you can’t do that if you don’t go to school.

(Silence from Ryan.  I finally broke through to him- or so I thought.)

Ryan (after several moments of thinking): I can get a job at McDonald’s.

(Silence from me.  I have nothing left to say.)

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Next year, Ryan will be starting kindergarten.  I wonder where in the world has the time gone?  I remember holding my brand new baby, and thinking he would be little forever.  Now this is almost our last summer before we have to think about starting school.

As a mother of two, day-to-day life is busy. There is always something going on.  Just when you think you have put out all the fires for the moment- BOOM- something literally goes boom (like a broken toy), or a new situation arises that needs your attention- either an argument breaks out, the laundry needs to be put away, a hungry child, there is a dirty diaper that needs to be changed, or your child just wants your attention to ask you why the sky is blue.

During the last four and a half years of Ryan’s life, I have focused on the day at hand, and haven’t really thought very much about the days, weeks, and months that lie ahead.  It seems as soon as you make plans a few days, or weeks ahead, then BOOM.  Something always comes up that inadvertently forces you to change your plans- a sick child, or a child that didn’t sleep well the night before, and is in no mood to be taken anywhere.

I suppose for sake of not being disappointed if my outings and activities, didn’t work out, I have just gotten in the habit of not really planning anything.  That is how our day-to-day life has been, especially throwing a new baby/toddler in the mix with Cole’s arrival two years ago.

It hit me the last few weeks, that time is running out.  All those weeks, months, and years that I thought were indefinite, are almost up.  I don’t have endless time with my boys, before they are off to school, and in a sense, off to start their lives somewhat separate from us.

It made me sad that I don’t have photo books full of pictures of all the fun and exciting places, I have been to with Ryan and Cole.  Will they wonder why they can’t remember going to the zoo, or the museum every week?  Will they wonder why their mother was too busy in day-to-day life, and why she couldn’t just let things “go” every now and then?

Part of my reasoning has also been that they were too little…they wouldn’t remember these things anyway.  But now they are getting older, and it is important that we remember having fun together.  I have decided this summer, we are going to have fun and start making memories.  

I didn’t sign Ryan up for preschool for the summer, and didn’t sign up for music classes for the boys, to keep our days open.  Ryan will have swimming lessons only one day a week.  I still have to work a few days during the week, but on the other days, we are going to do fun things.  We aren’t going to go to the zoo or children’s museum every week, but I plan on making sure they at least know what a zoo and museum are.  If my house isn’t as clean as I would like, or the laundry doesn’t get done, then so-be-it.  We have at least a week of clean clothes hanging in our closets. 

Every mother has regrets at some point, and I know down the road I would look back and regret the way I have spent some of this precious time that I have with my boys.  I don’t get any do-over’s and once it is gone, that is it.  I don’t want to look back in 18 years, when Ryan and Cole have moved out, and have started their own lives, and realize I was too busy folding laundry, and vacuuming to have really enjoyed these early years with them. 

I know I will miss them when they are gone.  I seriously doubt I will wish that I had spent more time doing housework, or wished that I had been able to complete more work from home.  I will be looking back at pictures of them- the places we went, the places we saw, and our time together.  I will be remembering.  I don’t want us to remember the one time we went to the zoo, or the one time we threw the schedule out the window and went and played all day. 

When that day comes, when all I have is the memories and photos of my boys as they are now, I won’t be looking for pictures of my clean house, or an empty dishwasher.  I won’t be remembering all the trips to the grocery store I made before lunch time.  I won’t be looking for work projects I completed.  I will be looking for their smiles- their joy- their happiness-their innocence. I will be looking for their childhood.

As a mother, the days are long but the years are short.  While I still have time, before too many years are gone, I’m going to start working this summer on creating memories with my young sons worth remembering.  

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Ryan participated in his first concert, if you could call it that today.  One of his preschool teachers has been teaching the kids songs all quarter.  Today was the last day of the winter quarter, and the parents were treated to a performance of all the kids singing.  It was so cute.  There were about 9 kids.  Three just walked off the “stage” altogether, while a few of the kids were too shy to sing, and just stood there, looking at their hands. 

Ryan was in a singing mood and stood up and sang for all of the songs.  Half way through one of the songs, Cole walked right up to him, and handed him a toy.  All the kids stopped singing to see what toy Cole handed to Ryan.  Guess Cole is still a little too young for the whole concert concept.  At any rate it was so neat to see him singing, and I just amazed how fast he is growing up. Isn’t this my little boy who wouldn’t udder a word to a stranger, let alone sing in front of a whole group of them, just a few months ago?  Pretty cool how he is blossoming out of his shy little self, and enjoying this new phase of his personality.  

Here is a picture of him singing, while doing a hand motion that went along with one of the songs.

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I have left a few open-ended posts and events “out there” the last few weeks, so here is a wrap up, on all those issues.

For our fifth year anniversary, Joe and I both had such a busy week; it kind of snuck up on us.  We realized we didn’t have a babysitter.  My dad tried to rearrange his work schedule so he could baby sit at the last minute for us, but it didn’t work out.  So we took the kids to the mall, where they got to play in the play area and at Pottery Barn Kids.  Then we got pizza at California Pizza Kitchen.  

So we had a nice night- it was kind of special to think back five years ago we were at our wedding and now we were sharing our special day with the two lil’ monkey’s we love the most- our little boys.    Ryan was interested in the wedding pictures I was putting on the blog, so I got to talk to him about our wedding. 

We also passed a Crocs vendor in the mall, which had every size Crocs in every color imaginable.  Cole loves trying on and walking around in Ryan’s Crocs, so we couldn’t resist any longer and picked him up his own pair in Peacock Blue- here is a picture of him the next day with his first pair of Crocs.

We also got the window repaired on my car.  Our mechanic is wonderful, and we have had some issues in the past, where I bought the car in when something wasn’t working and they have fixed it for free!  One time a vacuum hose was broken and the air conditioning was only blowing out of the defrost vent.  So I knew a broken window regulator was going to cost, but it was almost $500 after parts and labor.  Ouch.  I feel like the mechanic is honest though, and I am sure we would have been charged at least this much, if not more anyplace else.  Also, since they have fixed things free for us before, of course I wanted to give them the business.  What are you going to do?  I need a window, and the duct tape and hanger was giving out, after my drive to work. 

Speaking of work, I absolutely love, love it.  I love the work- stimulating, but not over my head, with variety.  The other day while I was working, I thought how quiet it was in the office, and realized how much I was getting done, in a short amount of time.  It never is like that at home.  I can’t work on any project more than five minutes without a little voice asking me for something, or another little voice crying or making noises at me to get my attention.  So it has been lovely.  I am hoping I can start to work another half day for a few weeks in order to speed the training and learning curve along, so I’ll be able to work independently on Saturday’s.  Since no one else would be in the office that day, I’d have to be up to speed.  I am looking into some short-term childcare options.

Ryan adores his preschool.  I think Auntie Mara left a comment where she wondered how long it would be before Ryan wanted to go two days.  Well, it was exactly one time!  He asks all the time now when he gets to go to school.  This school runs in quarters, so after three months in November, we will have the option of continuing, and I am sure we will be adding another day- much to Ryan’s delight.  He also has fun playing with two of his friends, both boys, who are right around his age.  He said his friend, Leif, and him last week, pretended a train was a roller coaster.  I am glad he is making friends and learning how to play with other kids his age. 

Last week they took a “field trip” off the farm to an actual field (corn to be exact), where they picked an ear of corn, and then took it back to the farm and painted it.  Ryan was so proud of it, and now it is displayed on our fireplace mantle.  He also told me he got to walk in the mud!  Ah-the life of a three-year-old boy!

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know how we have struggled with getting Cole to sleep.  About a month ago, we finally moved his crib out of our room and into Ryan’s room.  Finally, he is sleeping so much better!  I nurse him to sleep (around 8:30), and now instead of waking up every two to three hours, he’ll only usually wake up once now.  Usually around 1am, sometimes 3am.  Last week he was teething, so he woke up a few more times, but I nurse him for about 10 minutes, and he goes right back to sleep.  I feel like a new woman, actually getting 5-7 hours of sleep now in a stretch instead of two.  

I just had to share the picture below.  It is good to keep your baby rear facing in their car seat as long as possible, even if they are over a year old and over 20 pounds, both of which Cole is.  He finally outgrew sitting rear facing, so a few weeks ago, Joe turned his car seat around, and so he is forward facing now.  He found these sunglasses while Joe was fitting the seat, and just had to wear them. 

He really likes sitting forward facing.  He takes his Crocs off, and rolls the window down with his toes.  He thinks that is the coolest thing ever.  He is just the sweetest little guy right now.  He smiles almost the entire day, and he has developed dimples.  Good thing he can’t talk, because if he asked me for anything with that smile, I know I wouldn’t be able to resist. 

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We have had three big “firsts” around here this week.

The first, first was Ryan’s first day of preschool on Tuesday.  He woke up early with Joe, and when I got downstairs to him, I told him today was the day he got to go to school!  He smiled and said, “Oh yes, and I’m ready to go!”  How’s that for enthusiasm?  Here is a picture of him ready to go, right before we left.  (He loves his blue lunch box- and he is smiling not crying) 

He was very excited as I dropped him off.  We were pleased to find out that another little friend that he has in his music class, was also in Ryan’s class.  As the parents were leaving, Ryan realized that I would be leaving too.  I asked him if he was ready for me to leave, and he said yes. 

Then he got his little stressed out look on his face, and came up to me, and gave me a long hug.  I knew my little guy was trying so hard to be a big boy!  I asked him again if he was ready for me to leave.  He nodded again, and said yes.  So Cole and I left.  Surprisingly, I was fine- I know he was going to have fun, and be well taken care of. 

Cole and I ran errands, and had a productive morning.  We picked Ryan up at 12:30, and his class was eating lunch outside.  Ryan saw me and said, “Hi Mom!  We’re just eating some lunch here!”  I asked him if he had fun and he said, “Yes, and I didn’t even cry!”  That got a laugh from his teachers.  As we were leaving, Ryan gave one of his teachers a hug, so I figured he bonded well with her.

It was kind of weird driving home, and asking Ryan what he did.  For the first time in his life, I do not know what he did for a large period of time, and have to rely on his version of what he did.  He told me the teachers played a game with him, and he got to play in the sandbox.  He also made a name tag with farm stickers on the front, and his hand-print, with the date of his first day of school on the back.  Here is a picture of his first art project from school:

Later in the day, he started citing a rhyme that I have never heard before.  He told me he learned it at preschool.  He also started walking like a duck, which he has never done before, so it will be interesting to see these next few weeks what new and exciting things he does.  I have to say, that his first day, couldn’t have gone better.  He wants to go back next week.  Yea!

Our second first, was my baby, got his first haircut!  I have been hesitant to cut it, because for some reason, it seems like once he gets his first haircut, that will make him into a little boy, not a baby anymore.  I also love the fact that he had curls in the back of his head.  He looked so cute.

Tuesday morning though, his hair was matted and it was hard to comb through, even though his hair had just been washed last night.  Plus, there was hair in his ears.  It was just getting to dang long.  He was starting to look like a little dog that needed to be groomed, instead of a cute baby boy.  :-)  So here are the “before” pictures I took of his hair Tuesday morning: (the little cut on his chin, is the result of a fall on the cement last night at the park)

After Joe got home from work, we took him to get his first haircut:

He fussed and had a few tears, but no major screaming fest (unlike his older brother, who until recently, would rather give up Mac & Cheese -his favorite food-, then have his hair cut).  It went well, and his stylist even gave some of his locks in an envelope.  Here is the finished result!

I am very happy with how his hair turned out: he still looks somewhat like a baby (to me, anyway,) and the stylist kept some curl in the back.  I tried to get a picture of the back of his head, but he would not cooperate!

Now for my shameless plug: if you like Cole’s shirt that he is wearing in the “after” pictures, it says, “What Happens At Grandma’s Stays At Grandma’s,” it is available in my on-line store, Little Pumpkin Sweet Pea Designs.

Cole even let Ryan play barber last night and comb his hair in the tub, and as it was drying.  Ryan was combing it, and pretending to cut it.  Cole was laughing, so maybe he’ll actually like getting his hair cut.  I can hope at least!

Finally, the third first, is I started my first day at my new job on Wednesday.  As I wrote in a previous post, I was offered a part time job, one day a week for now.  It is at an accounting firm and I am doing bookkeeping and business management. 

My first day went great, after I got over my nerves.  It has been almost seven years since I started a ”formal” job!  The owner is really nice, and I will be working directly with her.  I think I am really going to learn a lot from her.  The other women in the office were really nice and helpful as well, and I know I’ll enjoy working there a lot. 

Joe’s parents have graciously offered to watch Ryan and and Cole, while I am at work, and Grandma said everything went well there too.  She said Cole only cried once, when she was trying to get him to sleep.  When I arrived to pick them up, Cole smiled at me from the door, and then turned around to go back and play! 

This was the longest we have ever been away from each other since he was born, and he just trotted off, like he had important things to get to.  I nursed him for a few minutes, and then he slid off my lap, and immediately went back to sit on Grandma’s lap.    I guess my ‘baby’ is becoming a little boy.  I am very happy though, he did so well, had fun, and obviously bonded with Grandma. 

Today, Ryan said he wanted to go back to Grandma’s “all day,” so he enjoyed himself too.

All and all, our “firsts” involved change and some nerves,  but we all got through them, and are looking forward as these new changes, mesh into our lives in the upcoming months.   

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I can hardly believe that today we had Ryan’s orientation for the first ever pre-school/enrichment program that he will attend on Tuesday’s.  Where has the time gone?

We decided that Ryan wasn’t quite ready for a “full blown” several times a week preschool yet, so we decided on a program that frankly, just seems perfect for him.

It is on a farm just up the hill from Joe’s parent’s house.  There are horses, chickens, goats, lambs, and I am sure other animals that I am forgetting.  There is a tree house / fort, swings, sandbox, toys, and bikes. The kids are outside everyday unless the weather is just horrible.  There are eight kids in his group and a teacher, and a teacher’s assistant.  They will have some “formal” learning sessions, but in general, being outside is their classroom.

We got to go for an hour today to meet Ryan’s teachers, and just get him used to the place.  Unfortunately, when we got there, the director/owner told us his teachers were not able to make it today, but we got Ryan acquainted with the grounds, and he absolutely loved it.  He didn’t want to go home.  He has been a little nervous talking about going to school, but now that he has seen where he gets to go, he keeps asking when it will be Tuesday. I was joking with him and said maybe I could come too, and he told me, “No, you need to find your own school.” 

He will be going from 9:30-12, and he gets to bring a lunch.  He is excited about his new lunchbox.  He also had to make sure that Cole wasn’t coming with him.  I think Cole would like to enroll as well.  He was in heaven there today, following Ryan around, and he actually got up all these steps to the tree fort. 

 I was reading the director’s welcoming letter, where she was explaining some more about the program, and I love her philosophy when she says,

     “…I loved being outside with a group of children- spontaneous, creative play.  I loved the fact that there was no agenda, no structure…just exploring, smelling, touching.  The air, the sky, huge trees, birds.  I loved not teaching.  I loved that everything was already there-in nature.  The kids seemed more free, more alive.   I remember this huge realization: life does not get any better than this.  It was truly that simple.”

So my ‘baby’ is off to school in a few days.  It seems like he was just born.  While I am a bit sad he is growing up so fast, I am also very excited for him to start to branch out on his own, and start to explore, and find his world away from me. 

It seems as a mother, that is your ultimate job- to prepare your child for life away from you one day.  At least for now, he is only away for a few hours.  Wonder how I’ll feel when he is leaving for college?

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After procrastinating for a few months on enrolling Ryan in preschool, I finally mailed off his enrollment forms for him to attend a preschool for their fall and winter schedule.

The place we decided on, isn’t a “typical” preschool.  It is on a farm, just outside our city limits.  It is actually just one street over in the country from where Joe’s parents live-you can see their house from the school.  The school is a working farm with just about every animal you can imagine.  When we took a tour, a goat just had a kid (the night before) and Ryan got to hold it.  The children help on the farm with the animals and various other chores. 

There is a “schoolhouse” which is a converted chicken house.  There are only 8 children in each class with one teacher, and an assistant, so the ratio is 4:1, which is nice.  They do have some of the structured activities, like sitting in a circle for stories, and doing arts and crafts which correspond to events happening on the farm.  But most of the time is spent outdoors, experiencing the farm, which in itself is a unique experience, which will teach Ryan about nature, science, biology, botany, weather, and the circle-of-life. 

Ryan will be going for a half day session, one day a week, and I have to say that I am excited for him to start, but a little sad as well.  This really means my “baby” really isn’t a baby anymore, but a little boy.  The other day he told me he wanted to go to school on a yellow school bus, and in my heart I know it is time for him to start venturing out in the world away from me, in his own little way.  It feels like we have reached a milestone, but one of those good milestones, where I know he is really ready to go, and I know the timing is right for him (but it still a little bittersweet for me!) 

The school allows parents to stay during the session as long as they want (or as long as the child needs you to stay), but I have a feeling when the times come, Ryan will be fine. 

We really like the idea of Ryan being able to be around a working farm, animals, and other children.  We feel that he is progressing very well with the “basics” like his ABC’s, counting, and he is starting to recognize words and memorize stories.  He is even starting to sound out some words, on his own.   

The socialization is very important to us, and I think this experience will get him used to being around other children, help him learn about working in a group, being in a school structure, while most important- still having fun.

A big bonus too, is one of his friends for sure, (a boy, 1 month younger than him) will also be going during the same time, and another one of his friends (a girl, 6 months younger) may be in the same session as well, so it will be great he will already have a friend or two whom he knows, and he will hopefully be able to build on those friendships, and make new ones. 

I am excited for Ryan, and know he will love it.  I can’t wait to hear him tell me about his day on the farm, when he starts attending.

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