It is time for A Mama’s Blog, and Lets Go Green.biz’s monthly giveaway! This month, I am happy to announce that we will be giving away not one, but TWO of the fabulous BPA free water bottles made by Camelbak.

If you are not aware of what BPA’s are, they are a chemical called Bisphenola-A (BPA) traditionally used in making hard plastic bottles.  Wikipedia, states that BPA’s have been thought to be hazardous to humans since the 1930’s.  Long term exposure to BPA’s can induce chronic toxicity.  Some of the effects on the body, that were toxic in rats were: permanent changes to the genital tract, changes in breast tissue that predispose cells to hormones and carcinogens, breast cells predisposed to cancer, and lower bodyweight in both genders, and signs of early puberty.

BPA is known to leach from the plastic when heated at high temperatures (such as being washed in a dishwasher.) Needless to say, this isn’t a chemical that you want to be overly exposed to, and any chance you have to reduce your exposure to it-the better.

How many of us have plastic water bottles for ourselves and children?  Before becoming informed on BPA’s, I always ran my water bottles in the dishwasher, increasing the chances that my family was exposed to this chemical.

Lets Go Green’s water bottles are ALL BPA free, so you can put them in the dishwasher with no worries.  I have been using the 25-ounce Better Bottle now for a month and a half, and it is great.  I take it everywhere with me.  I especially love that the straw and the lid stay in place.  I have had so many water bottles that the straw comes out, and then it doesn’t work right, or makes annoying noises when drinking from it, so I ended up just throwing the straw away. 

My boys fight over who gets to use the 21-ounce Podium Bottle.  It is so easy to use and to hold, that my two-year old can use it with no help from me.  The lid is great too, because you can adjust how much liquid comes out, and you can completely turn the lid to “off,” so you don’t have any unexpected spills.  I definitely will be ordering another one of these so each boy has his own.

Be sure to check out Lets Go Green’s line of insulated water bottles too. 

For this giveaway, we are giving one 25-ounce Better Bottle, and one 21-ounce Podium Bottle.  The winners get to pick the color they would like.  In order to be eligible to win, go to Lets Go Green.biz BPA Free Water Bottle page, and look through the water bottles.  Then leave a comment here, stating which bottle you would like to have, and what color(s) you like.  If you would like to earn an additional chance to win, mention this contest on your blog, and provide a link back here. Be sure to sign Mr. Linky so I know you did this.

There will be TWO winners selected on Monday, September 1, at 8 PM eastern time, by random.org.  The first winner will receive the 25-ounce size, and the second winner will receive the 21-ounce size. 

If you can’t wait for the contest to end, these water bottles are VERY affordable. They range in price from $8.79 to $12.89.  If you use the coupon code, FRIEND, at check-out, you will receive 25% off your order!

Good luck!

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A few days ago, I wrote about Ryan having keratosis pilaris (KP).  One of the solutions that has helped Ryan, which I didn’t go into a lot of detail on, was our switch to natural skin care products.

As I wrote, this has been such a change and learning experience for me.  Growing up with 3 other siblings, money was tight, and my mom bought the least expensive skin care products she could.  This usually meant the typical products you would find at any drug or grocery store. 

I am a beauty product junkie I’ll admit it.  So I love trying out new shampoos, conditioners, make-up, lotion, and skin care products.  Over the years I have gravitated towards more natural brands.  I have very, very, dry and somewhat sensitive skin, and these products just work on my skin better. 

I don’t know why I didn’t connect the dots, -if I was getting better results with natural products, then they were probably better for my baby, when Ryan was born.  Like a lot of new mothers, I stocked up on Johnson & Johnson baby products.  I also had received a Burt’s Bee Baby Starter Kit.  I noticed right away after using J&J lotion on Ryan, his skin seemed very rough and dry.  After using the Burt’s Bee lotion, his skin was softer and never felt dry.

I noticed this with all the skin care products we used on Ryan.  The “traditional” products were always drying and somewhat irritating, where the more natural ones were not.  I tried out a lot of lotions to try to keep Ryan’s skin hydrated, to reduce his KP flare-ups. 

About two years ago, I came across this eye-opening, and educational website, Skin Deep, which is a cosmetic and personal skin care data base.  It breaks down the ingredients in thousands and thousands of products, and lets you know which ones are the most dangerous based on ingredients in the products that are linked to cancer, developmental/reproduction toxicity, violations, restrictions, and warnings, and other issues like skin irritation.   The most dangerous ones are a 10, down to 0 (with minimal hazards).   It will tell you too, if the company tests its product on animals and if they have signed the Compact for Safe Cosmetic pact. 

I was SHOCKED and quite honestly, appalled to see the rankings of some of the products I was using on Ryan at the time.  Johnson & Johnson’s Baby Lotion had a hazard of ranking of 7.  In fact, 95% of baby lotions on the market have lower concerns.  It is one of the most hazardous baby lotions, and how many millions of people are using it on their babies?  No wonder Ryan’s skin always seemed stressed after using it. 

 I started to feel deceived by these baby companies, because so many of the products that sound natural, and sound good, like something you would want on your baby’s skin, is anything but.  Like Huggies Baby Lotion with Shea Butter- sounds good but it also has a ranking of 7, which is a high hazard.  The Burt’s Bee’s Baby Buttermilk Lotion has a ranking of 4, which put it in the moderate hazard category.  I had to conclude that the lower the ranking on the products we were using, were not only better for my son’s skin, but also better for his potential health.  What mother would want to knowingly expose her baby to potential toxins?

I was also surprised to find some products I thought would be high on the list actually weren’t.  An example was Vaseline 100% Petroleum Jelly.  Its ranking is 0, which is considered a low hazard.  Another one was Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil. I thought it would be at least a 7 or 8, but it is a 3, with a moderate hazard.  There are some baby oil’s that ranked at 0’s though, so baby oil wasn’t as bad as I had thought.

All of this taught me that I have to read ingredients on skin care products.  I can’t just assume because a company claims the product is “natural” or because it says “baby” on it, it is safe and non-toxic to use on my children.  I feel like my kids will be exposed to so many toxins in life anyway that I can’t control, but I want to cut down on the amount they are exposed to at home by using less toxic products in their bath, and on their skin.

Of course for Ryan this also means his KP doesn’t flare-up as much, and that is reason enough for me to have made the switch to less toxic skin care products for our family. 

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I saw this article called, How Depressing: It’s A Boy, today on MSN.  I only had time to scan over it briefly at the time, but being a mother of two boys, and having had suffered from post-partum depression (PPD), three months after Cole was born, of course I was interested in reading the study in detail.

After I read it, I was really upset for a variety of reasons.  For starters, this study only had 17 French women in it.  That is not enough of a sample to say for certain, what this study is suggesting.  Even the article pointed out that the “since the study was conducted on a very small group of women, it is possible the findings are just a statistical quirk.” 

The study also never even asked the women if they were hoping for a particular gender, yet they speculate that at least French mothers may prefer daughters to sons.  This is based on what?  Personal feelings?  There is no science backing this speculation up at all. 

I have known at least six women (myself included) who have suffered from various degrees of PPD over the years.  Four of them have been mothers of girls, and myself and one other mother, have been the mothers of boys.  If this French study studied my circle, they would have the opposite findings. 

For this study to hold any merit whatsoever, they would have to study a variety of women, on a MUCH larger scale, for several years, to see if the statistics they had,  (out of 17 mothers with severe depression, 13 of them had baby boys,) proved to be consistent with different and larger study groups.  I think this study was flawed and didn’t include enough subjects to draw a conclusion like they are claiming- that boys cause PPD. 

Personally, I think a major cause of PPD, is hormonal and a nutrient imbalance.  As soon as I started replenishing my levels of nutrients, especially the B vitamins and Omega-6’s, my depression went away.  I know that isn’t the case for everyone, but I think it is a really far stretch and drawing at straws to say because you have a boy you are at greater risk for PPD. 

I also think the temperament of the baby has a lot to do with it too.  Whether the baby is a boy or a girl, if a baby is a high needs baby, is a fussy baby, or cries constantly, obviously a mother’s stress level is going to increase, which could put her at a higher risk for developing PPD.  These babies are harder to take care of.  Not every mother with a baby like this has PPD, but if they want to find causes, certainly this could be another factor contributing to PPD than simply saying the gender is the cause of PPD.  How many of those mothers in the French study had babies that had colic, or cried constantly, or screamed if they weren’t being held at all hours of the day?  How many of these depressed mothers were severely sleep deprived, which can be another contributing factor to PPD.

I also have a MAJOR problem with another part of the writings in this study which claim that women want ”mini-me’s” (daughters) not sons.  I find that VERY offensive, and how shallow and condescending is that to the millions and millions of mothers who have sons?  Suddenly we are all secretly longing for daughters so we can have our “mini-me’s.”  Absolutely insulting!

It gets worse- the study goes on to theorize that when a woman doesn’t get the gender (boy or girl) that she was hoping for “she is more likely to suffer from decreased quality of life or severe depression.”  Again, how insulting to every mother who may have hoped that she was having one gender over the other?  That doesn’t mean that every woman every time, who doesn’t get the gender of baby she was hoping for, is more likely to suffer from a decreased quality of life. 

Usually, the mothers who I know, (myself included), who were hoping for a boy or a girl, and then had the opposite gender they were hoping for, couldn’t imagine their life without their baby, and would not give him or her up for their “desired” gender in a million years. Their quality of life improves with their baby, not decreases.  This study paints women and mothers as so shallow- as if having a boy or a girl-your desired gender- is the key to happiness, and not having your desired gender causes mothers to suffer from severe depression.  I just don’t believe that is the case with the majority of mothers.

I also have to respond to the study’s claim that women really do prefer girls over boys, because girls are requested more often in overseas adoptions from couples in the West- especially in America.  I don’t think this claim is true at all,  just because girls are being requested to be adopted in overseas adoptions over boys. 

I believe the reason more baby girls are requested in adoptions outside the US, is in these countries, THEY (parents in these countries) don’t want girls and put them up for adoption more often than sons.  In many countries where Americans are allowed to adopt, sons are the preferred gender, and parents will abandon girls more often than sons, bringing them to orphanages. 

It seems to me that this is common knowledge, and women in the US, who want to adopt a baby from these countries know that.  They know they will have a shorter wait, and a better chance of adopting a baby if they request a girl, because there are more girls waiting to be adopted than boys.  It is a simple supply and demand situation.

I wasn’t even going to blog about this study because I think this study is complete nonsense and just something else to make mothers of sons worry needlessly about.  I didn’t want to “publicize” this study any more than it already has been.

My sister suggested I write a post about it, so if mothers who do read this study are troubled by it, and seek additional information, there would be something else- another viewpoint- to consider.  That is the only reason I am blogging about this. 

I believe most mothers love and cherish their babies, no matter what their gender is.  Post-partum depression does happen, but for it to be contributed only because a mother is depressed because she didn’t have a boy or a girl, is just so far fetched.

It is irresponsible for this study to be published  and publicized as it is, because there is no other studies that can back it up.  It can cause more harm and grief to mothers who may be suffering from depression- now they have to wonder if their baby’s gender could be causing their depression. 

Until there is evidence and several more mothers studied in this case, these types of studies serve no valuable purpose to mothers.  When the statistics in the study have a real possiblity of only being a “quirk,” don’t publish these types of “findings” until there is scientific evidence to back it up- with real, fact based, statistics. 

Now I am getting off my soapbox, and going to go tuck my two, loveable, sweet, adoring, sons who have brought me so much joy and happiness- whom I’d give my life for- into bed. 

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When Ryan was about four months old, we noticed his skin started having what I referred to as the dreaded “goose bump skin.” I was mortified.  I had these bumps, which were very noticeable on my arms and legs while growing up.  I still have them somewhat on my legs.  I remember my mom taking me to several doctors in my teens, because I was so self-conscious about them.  No doctor ever gave us a diagnosis on what the condition was.  I resigned myself to live with these bumps on my skin.  I was very happy though, when they started to disappear on my arms, and fade so they weren’t so noticeable on my legs, in my early twenties. 

Fast forward ten plus years, gazing at my firstborn’s sweet, perfect, smooth skin, only to realize he is developing the same condition I had.  What are these bumps, and would my son have to go through his life with them too?

I immediately took Ryan to a dermatologist, who told me right off it is a “harmless” skin condition called, Keratosis Pilaris, or KP. Harmless in it often looks worse than it is, but I knew first hand, how self conscious it can make you about parts of the body that KP appears on.  She told me there isn’t anything you can do, but a person usually will outgrow KP as they get older.  She also said it is genetic (my dad and sister had KP too), and about 50% of the population has some form of KP, somewhere on their body.

She gave me a prescription cream for a steroid and told me I could use it in case of flare-ups, or if the KP got really bad.  What really was troubling to me was unlike myself, Ryan had KP on his face, especially on his cheeks.  His cheeks were rough, and people were starting to comment on it. 

I used the steroid cream a few times, when Ryan’s face had really bad flare-ups. Dry weather can aggravate KP.  We live in a very dry climate, and interestingly I remembered as a child, when we visited more humid places, my KP went away entirely.  At 7 and 18 months, we visited my sister who lives in a very humid area, and within 2 days of us being there, Ryan’s KP disappeared.  It reappeared however, after we returned home.

I didn’t like using a steroid cream on my baby, so off to the Internet I went, in hopes of discovering something, anything, that would at least reduce the KP on Ryan’s face.  There is no “miracle” cure- at least not one that I have found.

What I have discovered is there are several things that will help reduce the chances of flare-ups, resulting in less noticeable bumps.  I did learn that KP can be so different for everyone- what works with one person, will only aggravate the flare-ups in others.  Our pediatrician gave us some good tips as well, and here is what I have discovered helps Ryan:

• Keeping our environment as humid as possible. 

Our pediatrician actually wrote us a prescription for a whole house humidifier.  Since we are planning on moving soon, we opted not to buy one yet.  However, we keep a humidifier in Ryan’s room at night.  This helps a lot, especially in the winter.  We have an evaporator cooler in the summer, which is almost like a humidifier.  Ryan’s skin is almost KP free in the summer. 

• Adding pure, organic, flax seed oil to his milk every day. 

I add less than a teaspoon, but I have noticed it helps a great deal.  Flax seed oil is rich in the essential fatty acids, especially Omega-6, which is the Gamma Linoleic Acid.   Our doctor told us flax seed oil has the highest concentration of Omega-6’s, more than what you would find in a capsule. 

Some research suggests that a lack GLA contributes to eczema, and when eczema patients increased their GLA intake, their eczema went away.   However, eczema, and KP are not related, but I liked the theory, since GLA is very soothing to the skin, and can promote healing.  Since most people can’t utilize GLA properly (due to environmental factors), adding GLA’s into Ryan’s diet, seemed like a natural thing to do. 

I never told Ryan I was adding flax seed oil to his milk.  I would stir it in, and he would drink it.  As he got older, he started to ask me what “that yellow stuff” was.  I told him it was flax seed oil, and it helps keep us healthy.  Ryan reminds me and asks for his flax seed oil now, and once I asked him why he likes it so much.  He said, “It keeps my skin smooth.”  I was amazed.  I have never told him that, but I think he started to notice a difference in his KP when he takes his flax seed oil.  About a year ago, I saw him running his hands down his arms, and talking to himself.  He was saying that his skin was bumpy and he didn’t like it. That about broke my heart, so I am thrilled that he seems to have noticed a difference in his skin.

• Keeping his skin moisturized

This has been such a journey for me.  I have tried probably every cream, lotion, and balm on the market in hopes of one of them reducing Ryan’s KP.  I have tried everything from the lotions promising to cure KP, to basic Vaseline, to herbs.  I have tried everything from the steroid cream to the purest and most organic moisturizers I could find.  Nothing has been that miracle, but I have noticed that the more natural lotions, seem to lock in the moisture after Ryan’s bath better.  Right now,  Shikai Borage Dry Skin Therapy Lotion is doing a very nice job. It keeps Ryan’s skin moisturized for a full 24 hours, and I haven’t found anything that has worked as well up to this point.

• Using Natural Skin Products

This has been a real change for me, which I will write more about in the next post.  So many ingredients in products that I had previously been using are so drying to the skin, and weren’t helping Ryan at all.

With these changes we have made, I am very hopeful that Ryan’s KP will continue to lessen as he gets older.  It has gotten better even from when he was two years old. 

I think education is so important on KP as well.  So many people don’t really know what it is, and out of concern they ask you what those bumps are on your child, or if he has a rash.  I have even had people tell me after I have explained what it is, say that they used to have bumps on their skin when they were young, and they are happy to have finally found out what those bumps were too. 

Maybe one day science will finally have a cure for all the sufferers of KP.  Until then, I plan to keep trying to eliminate the flare-ups, and at least “cure” it the best I can for Ryan.

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BlogHer has announced that it has teamed up Global Giving in an effort to save as many women’s lives as possible between now and Mother’s Day. 

We are so very fortunate to live in an area in the world, where we as women, have access to world class health care.  Unfortunately for many women across the globe, just basic health care, let alone specialized maternity care is not available.  Consider some of the statistics hundreds of thousands of women (and their babies) have to face (as posted on BlogHer):   

* Every year, 529,000 women die from pregnancy-related causes.
* Children who have lost their mothers are up to 10 more times more likely to die prematurely than those who haven’t.
* Most maternal deaths (61 per cent) take place during labour, delivery or in the immediate post-partum period. Some 3.4 million newborns die within the first week of life.
UNFPA

From the Mother and Child Clinic in Nepal, to helping mothers safely birth healthy babies in Afghanistan, (where a woman dies of pregnancy-related causes every 27 minutes), the Global Giving projects can help save women’s lives in these desperate areas. 

BlogHer has joined forces with Global Giving to make a difference in maternal health, and help save lives. BlogHer wants to find out how many women’s lives can be saved from donations between now and Mother’s Day.  

I am joining Amy from Crunchy Domestic Goddess, and will donate 50% of the sales from my on-line store, Little Pumpkin Sweet Pea Designs,  for the rest of April until Mother’s Day to the BlogHers Act/Global Giving project. 

If you have browsed my store before, and have had your eye on something, now is a perfect time to go for it.  Obviously you will have a cute shirt, but more importantly you will be helping to make a difference in maternal health for women who greatly need it. 

If you have never browsed the store before, click here (or at the above link,) or on the store button in the right hand sidebar.  This isn’t a post to promote my store, only a way to help raise money for this great cause, so I am only providing the link to the store, and not showing any pictures or links to any of the items. 

You can also make a donation directly to the Global Giving project, by clicking here (or on the button at the top of the post).  Please consider helping out in anyway you can.  After reading what some of these women have to endure, it puts it all in perspective how very lucky we really are.

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I am very happy to report that Ryan is doing MUCH better regarding his ear infection and ruptured eardrum.  After taking two doses of the stronger antibiotic, I had my happy, carefree, Ryan back.  He is still having a little trouble hearing, but the doctor assured me that will subside as the infection dwindles away.

I had a bit of a dilemma this week.  On Sunday night, the mother of a little boy who has been in music class with us, and also is in the same class at Ryan’s school, called and said her son specifically requested that Ryan come to his birthday party this coming Sunday.  I know Ryan and this little boy play a lot together at school, and he is a very nice little friend for Ryan.

Of course I wanted Ryan to go, but I also started wondering what if he got sick again- right as he is recovering from his double ear infections?  Obviously the more kids your child is around, the greater the chance of him catching something-again.  His immune system isn’t fully recovered from all these illnesses either.   On the other hand, I don’t want to be that mom either.  The mom who won’t let her child go anywhere, or be around other kids, for fear he will get sick.  I purposely didn’t call the mom back right away, because I just didn’t know what to do. 

Fortunately the answer became clear today, as I saw how well Ryan was doing.  He hasn’t complained about his ears hurting since Monday, and his ear stopped draining on Tuesday.  When I asked Ryan if he wanted to go this little boy’s party, his face just lit up and he said, “Yea Mom- I really like (little boy).”  So that was that.  I called the mom this afternoon and explained why I hadn’t called her back right away, and accepted the invitation. 

I thought this mothering stuff would get easier as the boys got older.  How do you know you are doing the right thing?   I realized today that I can’t keep Ryan (or Cole) in a bubble, because there will always be something.  I want my kids to grow up with friends, and having fun- not worrying if they are going to come down with something or get sick.  I can’t expect my children to have that attitude if I don’t have it myself.  If Ryan still wasn’t feeling better, of course I would have declined the party invitation.  But for now, we are both excited he is feeling so much better, and gets to go to his friend’s party.   

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We have always been pretty healthy.  Until my C-section, I had never been admitted in a hospital.  I thank the powers-that-be-every day that my children are healthy and have no serious medical conditions.

With that being said, ever since September, it seems like we have been sick, especially the children, with one thing after another.  I have blogged about it, and everytime I think we have seen the worst (flu, colds, coughing, stomach viruses, etc.) either Ryan or Cole-or both of them- come down with something new.

The latest- Ryan has a ruptured eardrum and what the doctor calls a “raging” ear infection in his other ear.  This makes two double ear infections less than a month apart.  Until this happened, Ryan has never had an ear infection before.  He is almost four and a half.  What is happening where he is getting double ear infections?  The doctor had just cleared his ears, saying they were both healed, and then a few days later, he said his ear was hurting again.

We went to the doctor a week ago Monday, and he said he had one ear infection, and gave us a prescription for an antibiotic.  Ryan also had a fever lingering around 102.  Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday went by with no real change.  If I didn’t give Ryan Children’s Motrin every four hours for the pain and his fever, he was absolutely miserable, crying in pain.  He would have an hour here, an hour there, where he would seem OK, but the fever never broke and he started saying his other ear hurt too.  To top that off, he had no energy, was very lethargic, and didn’t want to eat.  He has lost about 4 pounds last week. 

On Friday, what looked like light yellow snot (sorry if this is too graphic) started draining out of his known ear infection ear.  Then his ear started crusting over. I remembered one of my friends said her son had a ruptured eardrum and she knew this when fluid started coming out of his ear.  I had my suspicions on Friday, but since it was a really thick fluid, I wasn’t sure.

On Saturday morning I called our doctor’s office and got a doctor (if you want to call him that) on call.  Not our regular doctor. When I told him Ryan still had a fever, still had ear pain, new ear pain in his other ear, and fluid draining out of his ear, and told him I suspected he had a ruptured eardrum he said, “Hmmm that is puzzling to me.  I think you just need to wait a few more days and see if the antibiotics start working.” 

At this point I told Dr. On-Call that it had been 6 days already since Ryan had started on antibiotics, and clearly it was not working.  I told him we only had one dose left.  If it wasn’t working by now, I doubt one more dose was going to do the trick.  Dr. On-Call didn’t budge and told me since Ryan was allergic to penicillin he was on the strongest antibiotic they had, and the dosage was correct.  I knew what he was telling me just couldn’t correct.  I hung up on Dr. On-Call, very frustrated. 

Today, after posting the situation on my mom’s board, where one of the members is a pediatric physicians assistant, she told me it sounded like Ryan did have a ruptured eardrum, and if a fever or the other symptoms don’t clear up within three days of starting antibiotics, a stronger antibiotic is needed.  Can she call Dr. On-Call and tell him that?  How could an actual medical doctor NOT know that?

I had an appointment with our regular D.O. doctor, for Monday afternoon.  He confirmed that Ryan did have a ruptured eardrum and the other infection in his ear.  He thought for a moment and then came up within 2 seconds, another, stronger, antibiotic he would prescribe for Ryan.  Could he call Dr. On-Call and tell him there are stronger antibiotics than what he told me Ryan was on?

After having one dose of the stronger one this afternoon, he got some color back in his face, and ate the biggest meal for dinner, that he has eaten in over a week.  I really hope this round of antibiotics cures these ear infections once and for all.

On Sunday night I was reading up on ruptured eardrums, and they sound worse than they are.  Evidently when the fluid pressure gets to great in the middle ear, the eardrum ruptures to release the pressure.  Our doctor said back in the old days, before they had strong antibiotics to treat severe ear infections, they would actually rupture the eardrum on purpose to relieve the pressure.  He said it was the body’s way of taking care of the problem.  He said in his 25 years of practice, he had never seen a child’s ruptured eardrum not heal itself.

Doctor said it can take a month or two, and we need to be careful to make sure no water, ear drops, etc. gets into Ryan’s ear until it is healed.  He said if liquid gets into the rupture, it could damage Ryan’s hearing.  He suggested for baths to put a little piece of a cotton ball, coated with a little vaseline in Ryan’s ear, to seal out any water.  So I hope his ear heals with no incidents. 

The one thing that threw me off a bit in determining if Ryan really had the ruptured eardrum was the discharge.  I thought it had to be a liquid like water.  Dr. On-Call told me ruptured eardrums always produce blood and pus.  Evidently they can, but that isn’t always a symptom.  The drainage can be clear also.  If the child’s pillow has a dried residue on it, this is usually a sign of a rupture ear drum.  I found a good site last night that was very helpful with more information on ruptured eardrums from Medline Plus Encyclopedia. 

I think I’ll have to keep Ryan home from school in the morning- it is supposed to be cold and the class goes outside.  I don’t want cold air blowing in his ears, and his ear is still draining. 

Oh, I mentioned to our Dr. what Dr. On-Call said, and didn’t do.  He told me it can sometimes be hard for a doctor to diagnosis over the phone, without seeing the child.  I know that can be true, but jeez… this seemed pretty obvious to me, with no medical training, and my friend the P.A. nailed it, on-line, without ever seeing Ryan either.  I did let my doctor know that I wasn’t happy at all, with Dr. On-Call. 

It is so hard to see your child in pain, and you are absolutely helpless to make them feel better.  I learned that I have to be more insistent when dealing with the Dr. On-Call’s.  I hope there isn’t a next time, but if there is, I am not going to take “no” for an answer.  I will insist that Dr. On-Call at least look at Ryan, even if it means it disrupts the doctor’s Saturday. 

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My blogging was pretty sparse this week- here are some of the reasons why-

• Joe was out of town for work all week
• Ryan was very sick yet again, with an ear infection, bronchitis, high fever, and the beginning of pneumonia
• Didn’t sleep well at all- Ryan was up every 15 minutes at night, because of his fever
• Had some stressful personal situations arise
• Went to work- important project I had to work on
• Trying to clean up the house for my sister’s visit on Friday

Fortunately, most of the issues have resolved- Joe will be back on Friday afternoon, Ryan started feeling better on Thursday night, I finished up my project at work (it went well, despite me trying to work on it with only two hours of sleep the night before), the personal situation is looking a lot better, and I wrapped up the cleaning tonight, so the house is half way presentable for company.

I am not sure what we are going to do on Friday with my sister- a lot of it depends on how Ryan is feeling.  I  hope he is over the worst of it by Saturday so he can go to my baby niece’s FIRST birthday party.  I’m excited for it, and I can’t believe that little baby girl is now a year old.  My sister is having a party for a few hours in a park near her home “in the big city.”  It should be lots of fun, and the weather is supposed to be nice too.

After the party my dad is having a get-together at his house , but I don’t think Ryan will be up to a full afternoon of playing in the park at the party, and then a late night.  But we’ll see how it goes.

On a happy note, Cole was just an absolute doll and angel this week.  It is like he just blossomed overnight.  He was so independent, entertaining himself, and playing by himself while I attended to Ryan all week.  He is getting to be such a big boy.  I am amazed that my niece is turning one, but Cole’s birthday is right around the corner, and I am just as amazed that he is going to be two.  I think my baby boy is disappearing more and more every day, and becoming this happy, independent, energetic little boy. 

Hopefully I’ll get some pictures of the boys at the party, and maybe a nice shot of the birthday girl herself. 

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This is a follow up post to the post I wrote about C-sections, The Reality of C-Sections.  While writing that post, the thought occurred to me that it may be helpful to share some tips and ideas that could help mothers recover from a C-section.  Some of these tips I learned first hand, while I was in my recovery period, and some I learned and heard about after the fact.   If you have any other tips or something that is not mentioned here that worked for you, please let me know and I’ll add it to the post.  If you have had a C-section, it can be a long process to get “back to normal,” so any ideas we can pass on to other mothers recovering from their C-sections, I am sure will be appreciated.  :-) 

• Rest and Do Not ”Over Do” It- I know this is easier said than done, especially since there is a new baby, but I believe, in general, this is THE most important factor in determining how fast your recovery time will be.  Not only have you just had major abdominal surgery, but you are caring for a brand new baby, whose existence depends on you right now.  The laundry, and housework can wait.  Give yourself permission to rest at least for a week, and not take on all the housework too. Focus on your baby- that will be tiring enough, without worrying about the housework.  Your body needs rest to heal properly. 

If you are finding it hard to do this, (like I did), pretend that you just had major abdominal surgery for any reason other than having a baby.  Pretend that you had to have a hysterectomy (which is very similar to a C-section).  Would you be up and trying to cook dinner?  Would you be stressed your towels weren’t washed, or your bathrooms weren’t clean?  Chances are, no.  You would forget about these tasks for a while, and would be resting.  More than likely, you would have your husband, friends, or other family members helping out.  That brings me to my next tip:

• Let Others Help Out- Again, I know this can be easier said than done.  No one likes to admit that we need help, but the one time in your life where you will need help is after having a C-section with a new baby.  Let your husband cook dinner, and put away the laundry.  No, he won’t do it exactly like you do, but in the end, it will get done.  Or if you have a friend or family member nearby, and when they ask how you are doing (which they will) tell you need some help, or tell them it would be wonderful if they could come over and help with a small task.  Make a short list for them, so they know what you would like help with. This also ensures they won’t start cooking something for dinner, trying to be helpful, when your husband is bringing take-out home. 

It is hard to ask for help, but again consider if your friend just had a baby, and asked if you could help her with a load of laundry.  Wouldn’t you jump at the chance to help her out?  Most people want to help, and it makes them feel good and useful.  If they can’t do it, or don’t want to, they will find an excuse not to come over.  But I believe that would be an exception.  Besides, they are all dying to see your new baby, and if I have to throw a load of laundry in the dryer to see a cute new baby, no problem. 

Don’t forget that you can ask for help with the baby too.  Maybe you are just dying to take a shower, or grab a short nap.  If your baby is okay being held by someone else, ask them to come over for an hour.  Believe me, most people will jump at the chance to come over and hold your baby.  Having a few minutes or a shower in peace, is not being a bad mother- it is a necessity for you to keep going, and to heal.  Friends and family are wonderful and can help so much.  You only have to ask, and let them know a little help would be greatly appreciated.

• Don’t Overdo It With Visitors- Didn’t I just suggest to have friends and family help out?  Yes I did, but there is a big difference in having a few trusted friends and family over who you know will help out with what you ask them to, say hi briefly, and be gone.  You will be wiped out from the surgery and taking care of a newborn.  Now is not the time to have your chatty Aunt Cathy over for hours, or all your college roommates.  There will be plenty of time for you to have extended visits with these family and friends.   You need time to rest and heal.  You can’t do that when you have a constant stream of visitors in your house. 

A few ways of keeping visitors to a minimum are, stay in your pajamas, get into bed,  or put a robe on when someone is coming by for a visit.  You can tell them that you were going to take a nap, and if they see you in your PJ’s, or even laying down in bed, or on the couch,  they usually will get the hint not to stay too long.  Another great suggestion is you can say your doctor advised you to rest, and not have visitors right now, so you can recover from surgery.  It is pretty hard for that insistent relative who has decided she needs to see your baby *right now* to argue with doctor’s orders.  I also had a friend who had her baby at home.   Her midwife put a sign on the door saying something to the effect while the family appreciates shorts visits, this is time for the family to bond, and for the mother to heal and rest.  It specifically asked that visitors stay no more than 10 minutes, and if you see something that needs to be done, it would be appreciated if you could do it. 

The point is, that it is your house, your body that needs to heal, and your baby.  You don’t have to play hostess right now.  You can call the shots, so to speak, on which visitors you take, and how long you would like the visits to be.  Don’t feel bad, guilty, or feel like you are being rude.  People who want to see you and your baby will understand you need to rest, heal, and bond with your baby now.  The baby will still be there in a week or two, or even three for them to visit.

• Follow the Doctor’s and or Nurses Suggestions- This one may seem obvious, but because some of us (okay, me) think we know better, we may try to ignore some of the discharge instructions.  Obviously, the health-care providers have lots of experience and tips.  They are not telling you not to climb stairs to be mean and confine you to one area of your house.  There is a reason for the suggestions, and having learned the hard and painful way, the suggestions really are given to ease pain, and speed up your recovery.   

For me, it was driving.  I was told not to drive for at least ten days.  Ridiculous, I thought.  One night about a week after I was home, I really wanted to have some pictures of Ryan printed.  Joe was exhausted, so I told him I would hop in the Jeep (an automatic too) and drive the 3 miles to my closest Walgreen’s.  He reminded me I wasn’t supposed to drive.  I told him I would be fine.  BIG mistake.  I never knew you used the muscles that were cut during the C-section to drive, but you do.  Every time I hit the gas and brake, it hurt- a lot.  After I got home, I was very sore, and even during the next few days, it felt like I had stretched the muscles in the incision area, and they were very tender.  I learned that night there was a good reason I was told not to drive while I was healing- it hurt, and it was like taking five steps backwards with my body healing.

• If You Have Stairs, Move What You Need Into One Area- Stairs can be excruciating to walk up right after a C-section.  I have 14 of them leading to my upstairs.  My bedroom, bathroom, and Ryan’s nursery are all upstairs.  Walking up and down the stairs killed me.  I thought my incision was going to rip open, with every step I took.  After two days of this, when I came home from the hospital, I sat down in the glider in Ryan’s nursery and told Joe I was staying right there.  I was NOT walking up and down the stairs anymore.  I had all of Ryan’s clothes, blankets, and diaper items right there in the room.  Joe would bring me water, and food.  Because of a technicality with our bed (it is very high off the ground), I could not climb up into it or get out of it, without intense pain.  So I slept in the glider for three nights as well.

Have your husband or all those friends and family who want to help, move your items on one floor for at least a few days so you don’t have to stress your incision by climbing stairs.  There may be cases where you have to climb stairs, but you will not want to make any trips up the stairs that are not necessary.  My baby’s room worked well for me, since all his items were there, it was pretty easy to “set shop” up there for a few days.  Joe just kept a monitor on downstairs, and whenever I needed him to bring me something, I just called him.  This may seem like a small point, but it will help your body heal.

• Follow Your Pain Medication Instructions- I forgot often to take my pain meds.  It wasn’t like I was busy or anything with a new baby.  A nurse told me when your body has pain, then your blood pressure goes up and it will take more medication  and it takes longer to stop the pain, than if you had stayed on top of the schedule.  This was really true.  When I forgot to take my pain medication, it took more medicine and it took longer for the pain to stop.  When I took it on schedule, I virtually had no pain- there wasn’t time for the dosages to wear off.   

I didn’t like taking the pain medication and I know that contributed a lot to me forgetting to take it.  It was a big psychological block for me too.  I felt “sick” taking medication several times a day.  I tried to wean myself off of it for a few days, before I allowed myself to just take it. I had to tell myself I wasn’t sick, and I wasn’t going to be taking it forever, but for the time being, my body needed it to help control the pain, so it could heal. 

• Have A Pillow Nearby You Can Hold Up Against Your Incision- I was sick to my stomach after my C-section, due to the anesthesia.  Throwing up after a C-section, is NOT fun.  It was the worst pain I have ever had in my life.  Coughing, and laughing after a C-section is not fun either.  More intense pain. 

After I was home, my aunt, who is a nurse, came to see me.  I told her how much it hurt when I coughed, sneezed, or laughed.  Actually, I was trying not to laugh to avoid the pain.  She told me to hold a pillow into the incision/stomach area.  She said that would help support the muscles in that area.  I tried it and it worked great!  It was a great tip- I only wish I had known about it when I was in the hospital.

• Have Something To Prop Yourself Up In Bed With- While I was in the hospital, any time I wanted to sleep or rest, I could just hit the button on the bed, and it would adjust into a position I could be comfortable in with no pain.  After coming home, trying to lay down flat in bed was awful.  I needed to be reclined somewhat, but the pillows I had weren’t working.  Finally one of those reader pillows with the armrests to the sides, did the trick, when I was able to finally climb into bed and tolerate the pain. 

 Of course we didn’t have one, and no stores in our area had them, so my aunt saved the day when she brought me hers to borrow.  This was one of those things that I never even thought about, until I was faced with reality that I couldn’t lay down flat to sleep.

• Eat Nutritious Food and Beverages- This goes without saying, but not only will you feel better if you eat nutritious and healthy meals, but your will be giving your body the best energy sources you can, to help it do its job of healing.  Drink as much water as you can, especially if you are breastfeeding. 

Eat as much organic everything that you can afford.  You can certainly have some treats if you feel like it, but the more nutritious food you supply your body with, the better and faster job it will do in repairing itself.      

• Hire A Post-Partum Doula- If you have family and friends nearby, this may not be necessary.  But if you don’t, or don’t have anyone you feel comfortable with asking to help out, a post-partum doula can be a lifesaver and the best money you will spend.  PP doulas will come to your home and will follow up with you, see how you are doing, check on the baby, hold the baby, cook, clean, do laundry, and general housekeeping.  I think a PP doula services would come in very handy as well, if say you only had your husband to help out.  He will be tired too, will be adjusting to the baby, and trying to keep you happy.  A PP doula can help ease his work load as well, and give him a much deserved break. 

In my area, the PP doula’s will come in for as little as one hour a day, up to forty hours a week.  Even if you think you can’t afford a PP doula, in actuality, you might be able to for a few hours a week.  Keep in mind too, it isn’t forever- just until you have recovered enough to start taking on the chores yourself.  Different doulas charge differently, so it may be helpful to interview a few several weeks before your due date, so you can have someone in mind.  Even if you don’t have a C-section, a PP doula is wonderful.  Consider how much it would cost if you overdo it, and end up back in the hospital for a few days.  You would have to pay for a hospital stay again, and most doulas fees don’t come anywhere near what you would pay for a hospital visit.  A PP doula can help you manage tasks, and ensure you don’t end up over doing it. 

If you have an unplanned C-section, you may not have even thought of many of these tips or ideas, but hopefully you can incorporate as many as you can, depending how far along in your recovery you are.  However, if you know you have to have a C-section, do what you can before the C-section in terms of moving things in one area, lining up friends and family to help, etc. and it will make it that much easier and restful for you, and your family when you come home. 

I know first hand how hard it is to be out of commission for a while.  If you overdo it, you will be out even longer.  Allow yourself the time you need to feel better, and recover from your C-section.  You will feel better faster, and you will be a much happier and healthier mama for your baby. 

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Despite my best efforts of resting and taking it easy, I am still sick with a cold I just cannot shake.  I started feeling better on Wednesday, but then on Thursday came down with this terrible cold.  I have had a sinus headache since then, with a cough, runny nose, and today a sore throat. 

My wonderful husband and his parents watched the boys yesterday, and I literally stayed in bed and slept for the entire day.  I thought if I could just get some extra rest, I would feel better.  No luck.  Today I rested again, and missed a party I wanted to go to.  Instead, Joe and I made a Costco run, and that just completely wiped me out.  Joe finally told me about something a co-worker gave him last week, when he had the same cold.  It is called Mucinex, and it breaks up mucus in your chest.  Joe said he did feel a lot better after taking one that day at work.

I am usually not a big “pill” person, but I have tried every natural remedy I can think of, and it hasn’t helped.  My wonderful husband, went to Target and got me some, and I have to say it seems like it is working.  I still have a slight sinus headache, but it is much better, and my nose isn’t constantly running now.  I hope this means the worst is over, and I will finally stop coming down with new symptoms with this horrible cold.

We got a change in the weather, and it is really snowing hard.  I think it is supposed to keep snowing through tomorrow, so needless to say, the boys and I are staying home tomorrow.  My wonderful husband (can you tell how much I appreciated him this weekend?) helped with a ton of housework this weekend, so with the exception of one bathroom, the house is clean, the laundry is done, and there is food in the fridge.  I plan on taking it easy again tomorrow. Any healing vibes you can send my way, will be greatly appreciated. 

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