I wish I had a brilliant or at least somewhat exciting update for you, but I don’t. 

We’ve been working on the house, and trying to get everything else done in daily life that must get done, like work, errands, parent, spend time with the boys, etc.  I still haven’t started packing yet, but that is soon to change.  Joe started bringing home boxes the other day, so now that fun chore is on my plate.

I really don’t mind, but there is always way more stuff you realize you have.  I am hoping we can donate or just get rid of the stuff we haven’t used in years, and be done with it.  Like the extra microwave that has been sitting the pantry now, for eight years.  If our microwave ever broke, we had a spare.  Except it hasn’t and we have had a microwave sitting in the pantry for eight years.

I usually blog at night- but I have been so tired physically and mentally, I think I have blogger’s block.  If you don’t see very many posts here in the upcoming weeks, I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth.  But with moving, fixing up the house, and the upcoming holiday season, I’m not sure how much time or motivation I will have to blog.  Please continue to check in- I know I’ll get my blogging mojo back eventually.  :-)  You can find me on Twitter, and I seem to be able to post 140 character items, much easier and regularly than actual blog posts these days.

I pinkie swear I will post pictures of the new house and the progress we have made.  Joe finished painting the boys’ rooms today, and he’s going to start on our bedroom tomorrow.  I placed the carpet order last week, and that should be installed right after Thanksgiving.  We are ordering our engineered hardwood flooring tomorrow.  We have decided on a honey hickory color which is a golden brown- not too dark or light.  We should have it around Thanksgiving.  It has to cure at room temperature for a week, so Joe should be able to install the floor, the beginning of December.

The brand we are getting has a locking system, so there is no need to glue or nail the pieces together.  Joe is optimistic he can install it in a few days, rather than a few weeks.  So it appears we are on schedule to move into the house by the end of December.  Not sure where we will end up having Christmas- in the old house, or the new one, but Ryan is already wondering about the tree this year, and how Santa will find us.  :-)  Cole has just been talking up a storm and telling us he wants Santa to bring him a dump truck.

I’m also trying to plan Ryan’s fifth birthday party, which always sneaks up on me, since it is just two weeks after Christmas.  I booked the venue this year in JULY- so that is set.  Now I just have to get save the dates out to people, and hope I’m not over the number of guests we are allowed to have.  Guess I had better double check on that.  Ryan of course, is just thrilled to be turning five.  I’m wondering where the time went, and how did my ‘baby’ become a little boy, who is just weeks away from being five years-old?

My mom is coming out for a visit the week of Christmas and will be able to spend an entire evening, and the next day with us.  I’m excited for that, and to be able to show her our new house.  Ryan and Cole are excited to bake cookies for Santa with Nana. 

So that is all we have been up to.  Stay tuned for another exciting update in the near future. 

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I know we all LOVE being mothers 99% of the time, and would not trade it for anything.  We all LOVE our kids like crazy, and could not imagine our lives without them. 

But…what don’t you love about being a mother at times?  I have been thinking about this a lot, and don’t think it is really acceptable for mothers to go around saying what they don’t like about mothering.  We are for the most part expected to be happy, and put on a happy face no matter what. 

So, I decided to devote a blog posting every now and then to “Mommy Confessions.”  You can “confess” something small or something large, and there is NO judgement.   So if you want to get that certain something about motherhood off your chest- this is the place.  After all confession is good for the soul, right? 

My confession is I HATE the park.  I like watching my kids play, but find it so boring.  When my boys were younger, they needed me more to help them play, and that was fun, but now as they are growing and can do more and more by themselves, and don’t need want me to help them play, I still have to keep an eye on them, so it is too hard to read something, or talk to another mother.  So I stand around bored out of my mind.  My favorite part of going to the park, is when it is time to go home.

So there you have my confession, and I feel a lot better- what is yours?

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On Saturday, we went to a farm where we could pick as many vegetables as we wanted, and where there were a lot of fun things for the boys.

There was a real fire engine, and the boys had fun playing on it,  Next up were barrel rides pulled by a tractor:

Next we headed for the hayride to take us to the fields, and we spent the next three hours in the fields picking produce.  We picked corn:

and the boys dug for potatoes:

 We also got a ton of onions- red, white, and yellow onions, Indian corn, chili peppers, butternut squash, and pumpkins.  Cole was so tired from all the picking, he crashed out in my arms:

After we were back from the fields, and Cole had woken up, the boys played on the fire engine again, and Ryan went to play in the huge bouncy castle, while I took Cole and let him play on the various farm equipment:

We finally left late afternoon, as it started to get cloudy and cool.  When I asked the boys what they liked best, they said picking the vegetables.  I think it is important for kids to realize where their food comes from.

We are lucky this great farm is so close where the boys can learn about farming, see the food, participate in harvesting it, and have fun-all at the same time.

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My sister wrote a blog post about a parenting mistake that she had recently made with her 17-month old daughter.  My sister was trying to get her to eat, and she wouldn’t.  She started throwing a fit, so they put her in time-out.  Turns out, my little niece was only throwing the fit because she didn’t like the tuna fish, my sister was trying to get her to eat.

My sister is a first-time mom, and of course, we all make mistakes like this.  I’ll even let you in on a little secret, little sister…we keep making mistakes even with our second and subsequent children too.

My parenting mistake was on Tuesday night.  I was having a hard time falling asleep, and I had to be up before dawn- like at six for work on Wednesday.  The last time I looked at the clock before falling asleep, it was 2am. 

I woke up at 4:30am, and heard Cole crying a bit.  Sometimes he does this in his sleep, and I usually wait a minute or so, and nine times out of ten, he just goes back to sleep.  Since I had only been sleeping about two and a half hours, I was sooo tired.  I tuned out his cry, and figured he would be back asleep in a minute or so.

As I felt myself falling back to sleep, I could still hear him fussing around.  The next time I woke up, it was a full half-an-hour later, and now Cole was crying out, “Mommy, Mommy!” He was really loud, and upset.  He had not gone back to sleep, and I really resented having to get up to see what the problem was.

When I got to his room, he was standing up in his crib, just sobbing, and saying, “Mommy, Mommy,”  It broke my heart.  I thought he had, had a bad dream.  I picked him up, and he was SOAKED.  He was wet from the top of his shirt, to the bottom of his pants.

Clearly he had, had a bed wetting accident.  To top that off, it was a bit cool in the room, and his blanket was wet too.  I felt awful.  My little boy was soaked from top to bottom in pee, and I couldn’t be bothered to get up to check on him.

I cleaned him up, changed his sheets, and he was eager to get back to sleep.  Before I put him back in his bed, he put his arms around my neck, kissed me and said, “Love me Mommy.”  He says ‘love me’ instead of ‘love you,’ but that just made me feel worse.  He wasn’t trying to interrupt my sleep- he just wanted out of his wet pajamas.

Parenting is like driving to someplace without a map.  Sometimes you nail it right on, and sometimes you hit a bump or two, or three, or more, along the way.  Sometimes you just end up, flat-out lost.  I think about episodes like this, and wonder if this will seem like child’s play, when my boys are teenagers, and we are dealing with very complex issues.

Eventually, even if you are lost for a while, you figure it out, and get going again- ready for the next trip down the parenting road.

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A few weeks ago, I wrote about my preschool dropout, Ryan.  The comments telling me not to worry, were so appreciated, but we felt like we still needed to explore the option.

I suppose I am the one mother who didn’t get the memo that you cannot wait until back-to-school time to register your child for preschool.  Our school district has about six preschools in some of the elementary schools, and I assumed I could register Ryan at the one in the town we are hoping to move to.  WRONG.

When I called, the lady was very nice, but laughed.  She said I had to register for preschool back in January.  What?  I can’t even plan ahead to next week, let alone eight months ahead of time.  She told me they were completely filled, but they would put Ryan on a waiting list. 

I tried the other schools, and it was the same story.  One school that did have an opening, would have been in the farthest possible location from where we live now, and if we move.  The days they had open also did not work with our schedule.  Since I work two days a week, it was going to be tricky at best, to find something that worked.

So, I resigned myself that Ryan was a preschool dropout, and I was going to homeschool him for preschool.  We have been working on his name, numbers, letters, shapes, and colors anyway. Recently, he is starting to pick out a few words out of books that he recognizes, so I thought we were on the right track. 

The director at the farm program where Ryan went last year e-mailed me as well and said she had a few afternoon openings, so I signed him up for some sessions, just so he could be around other kids, and get the experience of being in a class.

But it was still bothering us.  Neither Joe or I, are teachers.  We were worried that we would be missing something.  What if we brought him to kindergarten next year, and he was the only kid that couldn’t do X, because we didn’t enroll him in preschool? But our options were severely limited.

Ryan’s wonderful grandmother (Joe’s mom) came to the rescue.  She told us about a center in town that caters to children with special needs.  She informed us that they have a preschool, where they combine special need kids and non-special needs kids in the classes.  She said it had a great reputation. 

Right off the bat, I loved the idea of that type of environment for Ryan.  I think he is at the perfect age to start learning about differences and in turn, learning tolerance and empathy.  I looked up the website, and was thrilled to see they were advertising at the top of their page, that they still had openings for non-special needs kids in his age group.  I read about the program, and became even more impressed.

We called the school the next day, took a tour, and even though they normally request that the four-year olds attend school four days a week, they said they would still love to have Ryan come for two days a week.  Because of my work schedule, there is no way I could bring him four days a week, but with some help from Ryan’s grandparents we will be able to do the two days a week.

The school was amazing.  All the teachers have bachelor degrees and or masters in early childhood education.  All the assistants at a minimum, have certificates in early childhood education too.  The ratio in the class is half the kids with special needs, and half the kids without.  There is one teacher, and two teaching assistants.  They are very organized and send home a lesson plan every week, so you know what is happening and what the kids are learning.  They have field trips.  One is coming up to a farm to see animals, take a hayride, and pick vegetables.  It just seemed like the perfect place for Ryan.

Today was his first day, and he was excited to go.  He told me he was a little nervous, but he was happy that he wouldn’t have to take a nap, since he’d be at school.  When we arrived, the director walked us to the class, where he met some of his classmates.  Ms. A., (his teacher), gave him a hug, and told him she’d show him where he could put his backpack.  Ryan barely gave me a hug, and he was off with Ms. A. 

Cole and I watched for a minute, and Ms. A., sensing I  needed another good-bye, pointed Ryan in my direction.  My little boy gave me a hug, and he was back off to Ms. A. Outside the classroom, there is a one-way window, and the director told me I could stay and watch as long as I wanted.  Cole was getting tired, so we left. 

It is odd turning your child over to someone else, to take over teaching them, even for just a few hours a day.  But this school seems so nurturing and supportive-it felt right. 

When we picked Ryan up, he had, had a blast.  He told us about the stories they had read, the snack they had, and the toy front-loader he got to ride during recess.  He was also happy to see that his name in his cubby, was attached to a yellow triangle.  That was very important. 

Ms. A. called us tonight and told us how comfortable Ryan seemed and how well he did today.  His first day couldn’t have gone better. It should be a fun year, and I can’t wait to see and hear about all the exciting new things he learns.  Here are a few pictures before we left for the first day:   

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It seems everyone has their thoughts and opinions about the first Republican vice presidential nominee, Sarah Palin, these days, and I am no different.

I was surprised when I heard McCain had picked her, but I was also happy that a woman was now on one of the political party’s top ticket.  It didn’t matter to me what ticket she was on- as a woman and a mother, I thought it was a step in the right direction.

If you are a regular blog reader of mine, you may remember the post I wrote in May, about how I felt the media in particular, had portrayed Hillary Clinton in a sexist and discriminatory way, simply because she was a woman.  If I thought that was bad for Hillary Clinton, it has just been beyond belief, the attack the media and blogs have launched against Sarah Palin in just over a week. 

This just makes no sense to me whatsoever.  For years feminists like Gloria Steinem, have been advocating for women that they should be able to have a choice.  They shouldn’t have to give up careers in order to be mothers.  Women should be considered as equals and they should have the same chances and opportunities as men.  One of Gloria Steinem’s quotes I have always liked is, “I’ve yet to be on a campus where most women weren’t worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career.  I’ve yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing.”

There is a woman in the national spotlight, in the running for one of our country’s highest positions, (never mind her politics for a minute) who has combined marriage, children, and a career, and is successful at it.  Instead of feminists like Steinem acknowledging that this is indeed a breakthrough for women, she writes an article for the LA Times (Wrong Woman, Wrong Time) basically saying the only reason Palin was picked by McCain was “to please right-wing ideologues.”   Steinem also asserts “that feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman, but making life more fair for women everywhere.”  

 If Steinem really believed the above statement, why didn’t she make a similar statement about Hillary Clinton?  Hillary Clinton was one woman, as well, running for one job.  How does it make ”life more fair for women everywhere” if Clinton were to be elected president, but it would not make “life more fair for women everywhere”  if Palin was elected vice president?

Steinem continues,

“And American women, who suffer more because of having two full-time jobs than from any other single injustice, finally have support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it.  Barack Obama and Joe Biden are campaigning on their belief that men should be, can be and want to be at home for their children.”

Sarah Palin’s husband, Todd, is becoming a stay-at-home Dad.  Isn’t this what Steinem was hoping for in part when she wrote, ”…until there is a support on a national stage from male leaders who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it? ”

Futhermore, when a male presidential candidate picks a woman for his running mate, it sends a message to women and to men, that he believes his pick is qualified and capable of being an effective vice president.  What many have considered obstacles and reasons why Sarah Palin should not have been picked, McCain saw the very thing Steinem wants- “a male leader(s) who know that women can’t be equal outside the home until men are equal in it? ”

It seems to me John McCain and the Palin family already figured out, what Steinem wrote about.  Palin’s husband Todd, is equal in the home, and will be home with their children.  In my eyes, the support on a national stage for women, that Steinem talks about Obama and Biden needing to bring, is already here.

Why do we need “male leaders”  to bring support to working women, and to help make men equal in the house, when it is already been in place for years?  Not just with McCain, Palin and her husband, but with the thousands and thousands of working families, where the mother works, and the father stays at home.  It seems like a real insult to working mothers, and stay-at-home fathers.  

I can’t help but wonder if Steinem would feel this way if Palin wasn’t a Republican, but a Democrat?  It makes me wonder if the type of feminism that Steinem has been pushing for, for all these years, has more do with politics than gender?

The most repulsive part of the attacks on Palin have been her character as a mother.  The media and others criticize and judge Palin as a mother. The argument is being vice president would take too much time away from her family, and how could she possibly balance all of that, especially with a pregnant 17-year old daughter, and a special needs infant? 

Why is that any of our business?  Do we question other working parents, who have more than two kids, special needs, or other challenges, or do we assume they will figure it out?  Todd Palin is going to be the stay-at-home parent.  Why do we insist on the parent at home in this case has to be Sarah?  Where has all the talk about fathers being at home gone?  Does this mean that stay-at-home fathers aren’t quite as good as stay-at-home mothers?  Isn’t this what women and feminists have been fighting for all these years for?  Now that we see this on a national stage, suddenly women with babies and families, shouldn’t be at high profile jobs.  They shouldn’t be taking on career aspirations. 

The double standard here is amazing.  Barack Obama has been campaigning now for about 18-months, and I have not heard one word, about how he will balance his family life, nor has he been judged on what kind of father he is. 

During the last year and a half, how much time has Obama spent with his girls?  Unlike the Palins, Obama’s wife, Michelle, has not announced that she would be a stay-at-home parent, should Obama become president.  That is their private decision to make, and we assume they will figure it out.  Why aren’t we granting this courtesy to Palin and her family? 

If being vice president takes so much time away from family, (even though the father would be at home) wouldn’t being president take even more time away from Obama’s family (and we don’t even know if there will be a stay-at-home parent?)  Yet we don’t hear the same “concerns” for Obama’s family being discussed.  Don’t two young girls need their father around during their formative years?   Why are we so quick to judge a strong woman as a mother, when we don’t judge a strong man as a father?  

It is really interesting for me all the issues that have been brought to light by Sarah Palin running for vice president.  It has made me question what “feminism” is all about to begin with.  Is it only OK to advance your career when you have 2.1 kids, but not three or four, or seven? 

Is feminism about advancing women, and breaking through glass ceilings from the board rooms to the White House? Or is it only “politically correct” to break glass ceilings as long as your politics don’t fall on the wrong side of those ceilings?

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Since we weren’t sure if we would be living somewhere new this fall, I have put off enrolling Ryan in pre-school.  He went to an enrichment type school last year on a farm, and we have been thinking about sending him there again for the fall and winter.  However, since he will be starting kindergarten next fall (gulp), we have also been thinking about enrolling him in a more formal pre-school setting.

Not knowing what to do, I have taken to asking Ryan what he wants-just to hear his thoughts on the matter.  Every time I bring up the subject, he tells me he is not going back to school.  The first few times he said this, I brushed it off, but it is a little concerning to me that he is not excited or has any desire to go back to school. 

I brought up the subject again with him today:

Me: Are you ready to go back to school?

Ryan: I am never going back to pre-school ever again.  I am going to stay home and play all day.

Me: Why don’t you want to go to school?

Ryan: There are too many kids, it is boring, and I get straw in my shoes.

(Light bulb moment for me- at last I felt like I was getting to the root of the problem)

Me: What if we go to a new school where there aren’t as many kids, and you aren’t bored?

Ryan: Nope.  I’m not going back.

Me: Well, what are you going to do for a job when you get older if you don’t go to school?  You have to make money one day, and you can’t do that if you don’t go to school.

(Silence from Ryan.  I finally broke through to him- or so I thought.)

Ryan (after several moments of thinking): I can get a job at McDonald’s.

(Silence from me.  I have nothing left to say.)

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If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that Ryan loves “The Music Man.”  Here is a previous post explaining how he came to love this movie so much.

I have been trying to find a theater in our area that would be presenting “The Music Man,” for a while now.  We discovered a dinner theater about half an hour away which was finally showing this musical.

So today Ryan, his Nana (my mom), Uncle Jeff, and Aunt Mara escorted Mr. Ryan to his first play/musical performance. 

Ryan was SO excited all week for this.  Today when he woke up he said with a big smile on his face, “Today we get to go see Music Man Mommy!”

I wasn’t quite sure how he would do- if he would get bored, or fidget, or just not get the whole play concept.  But, I could not have been more pleased.  He was just perfect.  He ate his lunch, using the best manners I have ever seen, and his eyes never left the stage for the entire performance.  He was enthralled with it all. 

He was such a little gentleman- it was really fun to see him be a big, grown up boy.  During the intermission, I took him to the restroom, and on the way out, he held the door open for all the ladies entering and exiting. 

While the performers were serving dessert, he said a line in the play, “Ya wild kid-ya!”  I saw a few of the performers laugh when they heard him say that- he mimicked the line very well.

Here is a picture of Ryan “reading” the program before it started:

We had a great time, and it was really nice my mom, brother and sister could come with us.  I know Ryan will always remember the first time he got to see “The Music Man” in person.  As his mother, I will too, but more that that- I will remember this as the first really grown-up event Ryan went to as a big boy.  

Now he can go back to just being a little boy- as great as today was, I don’t think I’m ready for him to act so grown-up every day- not yet.

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CrossPosted on BlogHer

I admit it- I like to scan People.com a few times a week.  It requires no thought, and I like looking at the pictures of the latest styles- styles I will not have the good fortune to wear, but I like to look at them anyway.

Last week I saw this article on Eva Longoria’s new look.  Evidently she has gained some weight and has cut her hair to play her character on Desperate Housewives.  I haven’t watched DH in a few years, and it sounds like her character, Gabby, has kids now.

Longoria’s rep made this comment to People on her client’s new look, “She’s making herself look like that as her character has let herself go. Gabrielle has gained weight and cut her hair,” Liza Anderson tells PEOPLE of Longoria Parker’s character. “She’s a worn out mother with two kids.”

Anderson continues on Longoria’s weight gain, “And even that was not enough. She’s also wearing butt pads and a stomach pad to play the part.”

Is this what TV and networks think of mothers now?  That we let ourselves go, and the only way to accurately portray this, is to have a petite actress who is now playing a mom, don butt pads and a stomach pad to look like a tired, worn out, mother who has let herself go?

I don’t argue that a lot of mothers are tired and worn out- show me a mother who isn’t and I will say she is probably in the minority.  But the assumption that a mother may have put on weight, because she has automatically has let herself go is insulting, and degrading.  Maybe the mother just doesn’t have time to work out like she used to.  Maybe it is taking longer for her to lose baby weight- there could be plenty of reasons why a mother has gained weight.

I also take exception to the whole “letting yourself go” concept.  Women are held to such a high standard, and are under such a microscope at times when they become mothers.  If they don’t look adorable, cute, and look like they have gained enough weight during pregnancy, then they are looked down on because certainly they are not eating for two and risking their baby’s health.  Yet, women that don’t immediately shed their baby weight in less than a month, are viewed as “letting themselves go.”  God forbid if a mother decides to simplify her life a bit and get her hair cut short too!

Most mothers I know, would love to go to the gym and work out.  Reality is they can’t- they are taking care of their children and are working.  Most mothers do have a period where they have to adjust to being a mother, and figure out how to balance it all again in time.  

But in the meantime why the double standard?  Why single out mothers like this?  No one says a fit-in shape, and stylish mother is a bad mother, because if she has time to work out, then she isn’t taking care of her kids.  Why do we have to assume that a mother who has less than a perfect body ”let herself go?”

What do you think- is this fair to put women into this category, or is this just a situation a lot of women are in that Desperate Houswives is trying to portray?

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We are having a lot of fun around here this summer. The boys have taken to swimming, well-like fish to water.  Especially Cole.  It doesn’t matter what kind of water it is- he loves it.  From water from the hose, to the kiddie pool, to the sprinkler, to the water at the swimming pool- he is thrilled around water.

We have been trying to go swimming at least once a week.  We are pretty lucky that our town has two great kiddie pools, that we can alternate between them.  Today we took the boys to the kiddie pool in town that has a slide.  It isn’t a huge slide, but it is adequate for kids of all sizes.

I say that because Ryan wouldn’t go on it.  He didn’t want to at all. But Cole- we couldn’t keep him off of it.  Never mind that he was the only two year old going down the slide.  Never mind that all the other kids going down the slide were at least twice his age.  He was just in his own little world, and he was going down that slide as much as he wanted.

He would climb up the rock stairs, and wait his turn-just like all the other kids.  Then when it was his turn, he’d sit on the slide, and look at the water running down it.  Oblivious to the fact, that he was holding up the line. He just had a grin on his face a mile wide.  He had waited in line, and he was going to make the most of it!   He examined the stream of water coming out of a sprinkler to keep the slide wet, and had to touch it and play with the water.  No amount of coaxing from his daddy or mommy would make him hurry up.  This was his time to decide when he was ready to slide. 

And when he decided it was time to go, he let go, and swish…down the slide he went, with even a bigger smile into his daddy’s arms.  If he got water in his eyes, or in his nose, it didn’t bother him.  He would laugh, and quickly squirm out of daddy’s arms to go get in line again, and do what he just did, all over again.

Ryan was just happy to be bouncing around in the water and playing. At one point he came up to me, gave me a hug and said, “I’m having so much fun in this pool Mom.”   Another time, I was holding him in the deeper water, and he told me to take him back to shallow water, because he had a great idea.  Once we were in the shallow water, he asked me if I wanted to dance with him.  So we did a little waltz in the water. 

I had so much fun playing and watching my boys today.  They are so sweet and innocent, and watching them have fun, just made me appreciate again how fortunate we are to have them.  It doesn’t get much better than dancing in water with your four and a half-year old, or seeing pure joy and excitement in your two year-old’s face, as he experiences a water slide for the first time. 

When I was a kid, my mom used to take us swimming, but she never went swimming herself.  She said she had just as much fun, sitting on a beach blanket watching us.  I never understood that growing up- but today I did. I understand what she meant all those years ago.  As long as your kids are having fun, and enjoying themselves then you are too, and it is the most fun you will ever have.    

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